


Scars On Our Hearts

by AurtisticMind



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sirius Black, Human-Werewolf Interactions, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, Muggle/Wizard Relations, Multi, Multiple Relationships, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Remus Lupin Lives, Sirius Black Lives, Sirius Black as Padfoot, Sirius Black in Azkaban, Sirius Black is an Emotional Support Dog, Tags May Change, This will be long, Werewolves, lycanthropy, pristinely ungifted, sorta..., this will be complicated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 24,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21653977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AurtisticMind/pseuds/AurtisticMind
Summary: Remus Lupin Struggles With Relationships
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 17





	1. A Special Mission

It was early 1989 and Remus Lupin was still feeling rather lost. Two of his best friends had been murdered, and his on-again-off-again boyfriend was in Azkaban, responsible for the whole mess. The Order had disbanded, all of his fellow members went back to normal lives, but Remus was left all alone. He had no purpose. Heartbroken and deeply depressed, he trudged through his days just trying to make ends meet, which was a challenge to say the least.

On the fourteenth of May Remus received an owl from his old Order friend Dumbledore. It just said, “Top Secret, Come At Once. P.S. I like chocolate frogs” Remus grabbed his threadbare coat and headed out the door. He could use the fireplace at the local wizarding pub to get to Honeydukes and use the secret passage to get into Hogwarts.

Upon presenting himself in the headmaster’s office, having used the password Chocolate Frogs, Remus was greeted with a smile and a warm hug from Albus Dumbledore.

“I’m glad you made haste Remus. I’ve got a very special mission for you.”

“The Order has been disbanded. I thought our mission days were over.” Remus replied.

“Yes, but this is important, and you are specifically qualified for the role.” Dumbledore continued, “As you are acutely aware, lycanthropy and poverty seem to go hand in hand. I mean no offense of course.” Dumbledore glanced at the patched and deteriorated coat Remus was holding. “Furthermore, when people talk of werewolves the stories are almost exclusively European. It would seem that Americans with lycanthropy have somehow managed to remain more secreted, and, though they have similar numbers per capita as we do here, there seems less of a disparity in wages and living spaces. I’ve made contact with someone across the pond, and they’re willing to talk to you about these things. I think if you could spend some time there and learn how things are handled differently, perhaps you could bring some new information back with you. Perhaps working with the Americans can improve the quality of life for those folks living with lycanthropy here.”

Remus stared at his feet. He liked the idea of improving the way werewolves were treated, but he was hesitant to commit to infiltrating a werewolf den halfway around the world in an area he’d never been to and would have no back up if things went poorly. “How long are we talking about?” Remus tried to sound more confident than he felt.

“At least a month, possibly more if you are getting good information. They’ve set up a safe house for you to handle your transformations, and you’ll have an American guide available to help you with the culture shock. It’s a wildly different place than we’re used to here.” Dumbledore smiled inwardly as if remembering some long-forgotten memory.

Remus had to admit, it’s not like he had any other plans. He struggled to keep jobs with his moon sickness, and moved frequently to avoid suspicion when he’d miss several days of work in a row, but only ever around the full moon. He was constantly trying to come up with new excuses to explain away his new injuries and scars. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to spend time somewhere else. Sheepishly, Remus traced his fingers over the patchwork on his coat, “I can’t afford the trip right now, but I’d definitely be interested in learning more.”

“They will provide you with food and shelter, and I took the liberty of ordering you new clothing.” Dumbledore opened a cupboard door, pulling out a suitcase. He set it on his desk and opened it revealing several sets of clothes, two new pairs of shoes, and a bag of toiletries. “Since you’re already packed, I see no sense in delaying your departure.” He closed the suitcase with a click and handed it to Remus.

“I can’t possibly accept this. Those clothes are worth at least a months wages.”

“Then you’ll have to go on this mission to repay the debt.” Dumbledore smiled.


	2. Remus Arrives In The United States

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus arrives in America.

Remus arrived in America on Thursday, the eighteenth of May. There he met Matilda, a kind elderly woman who’d been tasked with guiding him on his trip, which currently included transporting him to a secondary location. Once he’d arrived at the designated meeting spot, he and Matilda waited for his next contact to arrive.

“First time in the US?” Matilda asked.

“Yeah, I move around a lot, but I don’t really travel much.” Remus replied.

“In that case, a few quick things to keep in mind. Jumpers are sweaters, pants are called underwear, and pants here mean trousers. People generally prefer coffee over tea, and the tea we have here doesn’t have dairy. We call chips fries and crisps chips, and biscuits are cookies.”

Remus’ forehead furrowed as he tried to take it all in, but none of it really made much sense. “I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

“Welcome to America Mister Lupin!” a blonde man called from across the room as he entered through another door. He had long legs despite a rather heavy set body, making him move faster than he seemed built for. “My name is Scott, and I’m the unofficial leader of the local Lycanthrope branch.” he reached out and shook Remus by the hand firmly. “I’ve been in contact with Mister Dumbledore…”

“Professor. Uh, Professor Dumbledore.” Remus corrected.

“Oh, yes, my apologies. Professor Dumbledore expressed interest in learning about how we deal with lycanthropy here in the states and how it might be incorporated into European society. I understand that you’ll need accomodations for the full moon in two days time. We’ve got a safe house set up that Matilda will bring you to. The basement is warded with silencing charms and protections to keep muggles away and prevent anything from escaping the ‘changing room’ between sunset and sunrise on full moon nights. You just need to be in the room and close the door before the sun goes down on Saturday.” Scott paused. “Do you have any questions?”

“Will there be others there as well?” Remus had hoped for some privacy. He tended to tear himself up pretty bad and he didn’t want to put anyone else at risk, even if they suffered from the same condition. He wasn’t sure if it was the anxiety of being somewhere completely foreign, the stress of traveling, the close proximity to the full moon, or a combination of all of it, but he was already starting to feel sick.

“No, the safe house is set up for folks who are traveling through. The room will be all yours this month.” Scott sensed Remus’ relief. “The house is stocked with some basic foods. Mostly canned, frozen, and dry goods, but we went ahead and brought in some bread, cheese, milk, and sandwich meats to tide you over. If there’s anything specific you need, please let Matilda know and she can go and buy it for you.” Scott nodded to Matilda, “Matilda is my mother-in-law. She’s not a werewolf, but she’s a great go-between witch. You’ll find her to be immensely helpful.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m absolutely exhausted. Would it be possible for me to take a nap and get a meal, and we can start with notes and questions tomorrow? Or possibly Monday when we’ve all had a chance to recuperate?” As if on cue a grumble erupted from Remus’ empty stomach.

“It is an unfortunate time to arrange these meetings. Please, feel free to make yourself at home in the safe house. I will swing by tomorrow to check in with you and see if you’re up to starting your inquiry. If not, that’s fine too. Unless you’re on a firm timeline, I’m open most of the next month. We can start when you’re ready.” Scott stood up and put his arm out, directing Remus to the door he’d come in. Matilda handed Remus his coat and together they walked out.

Climbing back into Matilda’s car, Remus was curious. “There seems to be a lot of muggle transportation here. We haven’t apparated, used Floo powder, or a portkey since I got here.”

Matilda smiled, “Here everyone has a car. It would cause unwanted attention not to have one. Wizards in big cities can get away with not having a car, but out here in a smaller town, and especially for those witches and wizards living out in the midwest, a car is essential to blending in. Transportation takes a bit longer, sure, but we’re far less conspicuous this way.”

“The cities here do seem much more spread out than they are back home.” Remus agreed. “And there are cars everywhere.”

“Oh honey, this is late at night. You should see these roads around six when everyone gets off work!” Matilda flashed him another smile. She seemed like such a kind woman.


	3. Remus Takes Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus starts his inquiry.

The nightmares came back again that night. Flashbacks from the war, the night he found out that Sirius had been arrested following the deaths of James, Lily, and Peter. The faces of his friends twisted in his mind. His fellow Order members who’d been killed in the line of duty, their voices echoing in his head. He woke up in a cold sweat, sitting straight up in bed. The room was dark, but he knew it was just before dawn. He rubbed his face trying to clear his mind.

Climbing out of bed, Remus stretched, rolling his shoulders to try to work out a knot. He headed for the bathroom to take a hot shower and start his day.

Around ten in the morning there was a knock at the door. Remus opened it and Scott stepped in. “Good morning Mister Lupin! I hope you were able to rest a bit.”

“Yes, I slept well. Please, call me Remus. I’m thankful for all that you’ve provided. It’s a nice little cottage.” Remus didn’t bring up the nightmares.

“You’re always welcome Remus. Are you feeling up to taking some notes today?” Scott pulled out a box of tea bags from his coat pocket. “I brought you some tea. I know it’s not like what you have back home, but I realized we hadn’t stocked any here.” he handed the box to Remus, who set it on the kitchen counter. Scott followed him further into the house.

Remus busied himself making a cup of tea, “Did you want some tea Scott?”

“No thanks. I’m more of a coffee person.” Scott held up the Starbucks cup in his hand as he sat down at the table. Remus had laid out two notebooks, a couple pencils, an eraser, and a pencil sharpener. “You sure are organized. I like to see a man well prepared for his job.”

Coming around the corner with a hot mug, Remus sat down opposite Scott at the table. “I’m ready when you are.”

“Of course. Where would you like to start Mister? … I mean, Remus.” Scott corrected himself.

“I think perhaps employment might be a good place to start. What kind of jobs would one be able to get here?” Remus picked up a pencil and opened the first notebook.

“Any job really. I mean, not in a wizard sense so much. We’ve found that muggles have no sense of moon phases. They don’t seem to notice that sick days and full moons match up. It’s also easier to claim chronic health issues without questioning. There are quite a few in our branch who claim to have fibromyalgia, and it seems employers are understanding of needing more time off than an average person. Some also get around this by having multiple part time jobs and requesting days off claiming they’ll be at another job so they can take the day or two before and after each moon off to mend. By taking muggle jobs, we end up earning muggle money and shopping in muggle stores, but let’s be honest, muggles don’t have the same aversion to werewolves as the wizarding community. We have members in the area who work in retail, as restaurant servers, a morgue attendant, a park ranger, a dog walker, even a dentist.”

“And what do you do for income?” Remus asked as he continued writing everything down in his notebook.

“I own a motorcycle repair shop. I’m lucky to have some talented employees that are more than happy to cover the shifts on the days before and after the full moon. They never ask why the schedule is arranged this way, because, like I said, muggles don’t really pay much attention to moon phases.” Scott shrugged.

“Interesting.” Remus continued jotting notes. “And how do you explain away the injuries and the scars?”

“Perhaps it’s more of a cultural thing, but most people don’t really ask. I tell them my old scars are from a car accident many years ago. Fresh injuries can usually be covered with a long sleeve shirt, or a bandage. I’m a mechanic, so I can always use the excuse that I was working on something and ended up getting smacked in the face or something if I can’t cover it up. So far I haven’t had to explain any further. We did have one young lady who got into some trouble with social workers when a coworker reported her for ‘self harm’ when she would wear her work-required t-shirt and her scars and fresh scratches were visible. She ended up moving out of the area to avoid the issues and on last check was working a job that lets her wear sweaters.”

“This seems too simple. How do you hide your magical abilities and live among the muggles full time?” Remus asked, looking up from his growing page of notes.

“It’s not always easy to transition to a muggle life. Especially not for those who are infected later in life. But for those who are bitten young and can transition into muggle life early on, it does seem to be a bit easier. It’s largely about blending in, or at least avoiding standing out. It would be a bit odd to have owls coming and going all the time, so we tend to go to the meeting place, where we met yesterday, to send and receive owls. We learn to use muggle mail, we watch muggle sports to be able to have a decent conversation with our coworkers, and we use telephones and stereos and cars. We can still apparate and such, but we have to be more mindful of how that might affect our neighbors. It wouldn’t do to have a muggle neighbor notice you come home from work and your car is parked out front, but then *crack* you apparate off to someplace else, and they’re coming over to ask if you want to come over for dinner and you’re suddenly not home. Living in muggle society can be complicated, but at least it’s not as hard as being ostracized by our wizarding brethren.”

Remus nodded in agreement. “That makes a lot of sense. Dumbledore mentioned having roughly the same percentage of lycanthropes per capita here as back in Britain. How do you keep yourselves hidden so well?”

And so their conversation stretched on into the afternoon, Remus writing down everything he thought he could use, asking follow up questions, and Scott patiently explaining everything to him. Around four in the evening, Scott excused himself from the safe house to go check on his workplace and head home. He suggested that Remus take the rest of the evening, or perhaps the following morning to walk around and explore the neighborhood. It was a quiet area with a few shops and restaurants, and it would do him some good to get some fresh air before locking himself in the basement for the full moon tomorrow night. “Just remember, you have to be in the basement before the sun sets, and you’ll be locked in until sunrise the following day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it gets so much better after this chapter...


	4. Remus Has A Rough Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has a rough day and his night is about to be even worse...

The next morning Remus woke up with a headache. His mind felt cloudy, his muscles ached, and he felt feverish. Every little thing frustrated him. He stubbed his toe on the corner of the bed on his way to get clean clothes out of the suitcase, he dropped his toothbrush in the sink, he burnt his toast, and he managed to spill orange juice down the front of his shirt and had to go change clothes. Needless to say he wasn’t particularly in the mood to go for a walk, but he’d also spent more time locked up in here than he’d spent out, and he knew he’d be stuck here for the next day or two while he nursed his wounds and slept off the moon sickness.

As he pulled his coat on and stepped up to the door, he found an envelope on the floor that had been slid through the mail slot. His name was on the front, so he opened it. Inside was a note from Matilda,

“I figured you could use some spending money, since Scott suggested you explore the area. I’m including some muggle money in case you decide to eat out or stop to get some souvenirs. Enjoy your day! I’ll be by tonight to check in on you before sunset.”

There were paper bills included. Remus folded the envelope in half and slipped the entire thing into the back pocket of his trousers before heading out. He hadn’t been given a key for the door to lock it behind him, so when he stepped outside he looked around the doorway. It wasn’t hard to find the spare key under a rock a few feet from the door. He locked the door and replaced the key beneath the stone.

Heading down the street along the sidewalk, Remus admired the tidy houses. Each appeared well maintained, though there were still patches of snow on the ground, making the lawns look both muddy and frozen simultaneously. After about five blocks the houses transitioned into apartments for one block before turning into a small business area.

There were little boutiques, a flower shop, a bridal shop, a chocolatier, a bakery, a cafe, a sub sandwich shop, a pottery store, a hair salon, a little pet shop, a pizzeria, a couple clothing shops, a bar, a coffee shop, an antique shop, a thrift store, a jewelry store, and a mini mart grocery store.

Remus decided to try the bakery first, since he’d managed to ruin his own breakfast. He picked out a pastry, paying with one of the bills from the envelope, and enjoyed it before washing up in the bakery bathroom and heading out to check out the thrift shop. He explored the clothing stores, the antique shop, and the pottery store before stopping at the cafe for lunch. He ordered “The Classic American” which was a hamburger and fries with a soda. After lunch he looked around the pet shop, the flower shop, the chocolatier, the jewelry store, and the mini mart. Just as he ran out of interesting shops to explore, his head started to throb. His stomach churned, and he felt sick. Time to head back to the house.

Remus started back, past the apartments, but he slowed down after the first block of houses. Just as he crested the small hill he could see the flashing lights reflecting off the houses up and down the street. The safe house was surrounded by muggle police vehicles. Neighbors were standing in their yards, trying to figure out what was going on. Remus hesitated.  _ Now what am I supposed to do? Do I go back to the house and figure out what’s going on? How well will that play out - a scarred British bloke showing up at a house crawling with officials? I’ve got to get in there before dark though. _ Remus clenched his jaw and continued toward the safe house.

As he got closer he could overhear the neighbors chattering.

“I think it’s a drug raid. There are always weird people coming and going from there.”

“I thought it was abandoned.”

“Don’t be dumb, the lights are on all the time.”

“There’s been more people coming and going this week than there usually is.”

“Well I for one am glad the police are taking care of it. We don’t need drug houses in our neighborhood. Good riddance.”

Remus started to have second thoughts about approaching the house, but he knew he only had a matter of hours before he needed to be in that safe room in the basement, and it was probably going to take a bit to convince these muggle officers to leave the premise. As Remus approached the nearest uniformed police officer he gave a brief smile and made eye contact in an attempt to seem confident and assured. “Hey, what’s going on here?” Remus gestured toward the house.

“We got a report of a possible B and E, then one of the neighbors suggested it might be a drug house. Now we’re searching the property. Scarce food, someone’s been living out of a suitcase in there. Doesn’t seem right.” The officer spat in the snow beside his parked car, his hands crossed over his chest.

“B and E?” Remus asked.

“Breaking and Entering. You know, breaking in, stealing stuff, squatting.” The officer looked annoyed. “You aren’t from around here are you?” his eyes narrowed as he suddenly seemed to take more of an interest in Remus.

Time to go. Remus took a step back, faked his best American accent and said, “Nah, just visiting my cousins.” then turned on his heel and started to walk away.

“Hey! You look like the type to be living out of a suitcase, breaking into houses and squatting where you don’t belong…” the officer said, loud enough for a couple other officers nearby to hear. Remus picked up his pace, walking past the neighbor’s who were still arguing amongst themselves over why the police were there. Two more officers joined the first as they started to follow Remus, one of them calling out “Hey, you there! Stop! We have some questions!” Remus panicked. He made a quick right and started sprinting through lawns, over fences, across alleyways, between houses, and taking random turns. His long legs gave him the advantage, but as quickly as he was able to lose the officers he realized he’d lost himself too - and sunset was coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted the first four chapters of this fic all at once to get some interest in it. I think it has a great chapter-ending point here - but I promise the rest of the content is pure gold... ;P


	5. Not As Safe As He Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is discovered in full transformation.

Not sure what to do, Remus was in panic mode. He had to find somewhere safe that he could hunker down for the night. He couldn’t go back to the safe house. He had no way to contact anyone here to alert them that it had been compromised. He didn’t even know where he was. The sun was setting, and he could feel the pain intensifying. He needed to find somewhere, anywhere that he could block himself in, and soon. As it started to get dark, house lights started to come on. Remus walked down alleyways, staying away from the streets and trying to avoid security lights and street lamps. Just as he was giving up hope of finding somewhere, he spotted it. A small house tucked between two much larger houses. The lights were all off, the yard looked disheveled, the paint was peeling and the porch pitched to one side from years of neglect. Tall dead weeds stuck up out of the snow around the base of the house where they’d not been mowed down the autumn before.

Remus walked up to the house and tried the front door, but it was locked. He walked around the side of the house and was able to find a basement window that he was able to force open. He slipped down, legs first, on his belly, dropping to the cement below. He reached up in the darkness and latched the window shut.

He carefully felt his way around the room until he came to a door and a light switch. He flipped the switch and was happily surprised to find there was electricity. The little storage room had a cement floor and walls, the ceiling was raw wood from the floor above. The window he’d come in and the door he now stood beside were the only entry and exit points. The walls were lined with shelves full of boxes. There was a utility sink off to one side and the house’s heating unit off to another side. Remus didn’t realize how thirsty he was until he saw the sink, and he hastily turned the spigot. Water poured forth and he put his face under the nozzle to drink. Then he set to work warding the little room. He put protection spells on the window and the door, he put shielding spells on the shelves, the sink,and the heater to prevent him from destroying anything. He doubled the protection spells for the door and window, and cast a sound muffling charm to keep his screams from alerting neighbors. It was the last thing he had the conscious thought to do before the transformation began.

Jillian was awoken from her nap by a noise in the basement. It sounded like the window slamming shut followed by someone shuffling around in the storage room. She heard the water pump turn on, indicating that someone in the house had turned on a water faucet. She also knew she lived alone. She froze, waiting to hear any more movement, but everything went quiet. Perhaps a homeless person had come seeking a warm place for the night. Since she kept that door padlocked from the basement side, she felt relatively safe that anyone coming in through the window wouldn’t be able to get into the house. She waited, laying on the couch. The minutes stretched on, and there was no sound. Had she imagined it? She was a single young woman, it was dark out now, and the full moon shone through the living room window illuminating the entire room. She was curious, but she’d seen horror movies before and was hesitant to wander down to the basement alone in the dark to check on the unknown disturbance. After staring at the ceiling for what felt like hours, Jillian’s curiosity won out. She carefully sat up on the couch and as quietly as she could she took tip-toed steps toward the basement stairs, freezing for a moment every time a loose floorboard squeaked under her feet. A few minutes of effort found her at the top of the stairs leading to the basement. She flipped on the basement light from the stairs and stopped to listen. She knew the light from the basement was visible from the storage room, but she still heard nothing.

Carefully making her way down the stairs, Jillian paused in front of the first doorway to the left. The laundry room. If it was a homeless person, perhaps they’d like a blanket. She crept into the room and grabbed a clean and folded blanket from the stack on the dryer. She stopped in front of the door to the storage room. She still heard nothing. It was then that she felt the movement of air coming from the heat vent. The heater had kicked on to keep the house temperature at a comfortable but affordable 68-degrees; but she couldn’t hear the heater running. That old beast of a heater could shake the whole house, and yet she was standing just outside the door and heard nothing.

A chill ran across her for a moment as she reached up to the padlock to unlatch the door. It shouldn’t be this quiet. She had to know. She pulled the lock from the latch, holding the blanket over her other arm. She grabbed the doorknob and turned it. With a click, the door opened and the sound of the heater became evident. Was she losing her mind? The light was on. She pushed the door open further but stopped short of opening it all the way.

There, in the middle of the room, was what appeared to be an incredibly large wolf. It was tearing at it’s own neck and facing the window. Her breath caught in her throat. This was not at all what she had expected to find. She froze, her mind screaming at her to close the door. Just then the wolf caught her scent and whipped around to face her.

The wolf let out a low snarling growl, it’s lips pulled back in a sneer revealing pearly white teeth. The eyes though were unnerving. They weren’t wolf eyes, but human eyes set in a strangely contorted human-wolf face. The teeth were definitely more wolf than human though with long canines clacking together as it snapped it’s jaws at her without taking a step.

Jillian tossed the blanket into the storage room, hoping it would be a decent distraction, and slammed the door shut, latching the padlock through the metal ring of the latch, and clicking the little lock on the doorknob - as though it might somehow help. She backed away from the door and waited. The door slammed twice, but the lock held. What followed was the most bizarre noise. It filled her with anguish and pain; it was almost human, but it was so animalistic at the same time. She felt bad for the creature trapped in the storage room. Was it hurt? She wanted to help, but wasn’t sure how. She’d have to wait until the morning to see about calling someone. But who would she call? Animal control? The Department of Natural Resources? A zoo? Not sure if the door would hold the huge animal in, she decided to stay in the basement hallway to keep watch. Not that she had a clue what she’d do if it broke through the door, but she wasn’t going to be able to go to bed knowing there was a giant animal locked in the basement either.


	6. Hospitality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is pleasantly surprised by the hospitality of his new friend, despite what she's seen.

Jillian awoke with a start. When had she fallen asleep? She checked her watch, it was 7am. The storage room was still and silent. The screaming howls had stopped. She crept over to the door and tried to look underneath. The light was still on in there, but she couldn’t see anything. There didn’t seem to be any movement. Had the wolf creature escaped back out the window? She carefully removed the padlock again and twisted the handle slowly, pausing for a moment when the lock released making a loud click. Still no sound from behind the door.

Slowly opening the door, Jillian peeked her head into the storage room. There was no wolf, but curled up on the floor, wrapped in the red blanket she’d thrown in, was a man with shaggy brown hair. He had scars across his face and his arm that were exposed, and he had fresh gouges across his neck. Had this man been mauled by the wolf? What are the odds that she’d have two break ins in one night and one homeless man would fight off a giant wolf? Full moon, wolf creature, and now a man in her storage room. Werewolves are just a fairy tale, right? Whatever the case, this guy had clearly had a rough night, and she felt the need to show some kind of hospitality. After all, he hadn’t attacked her last night. Carefully backing out of the room, she closed the door, but left the padlock off.

Several minutes later, Jillian returned to the storage room door with one hand full of antibiotic ointment, a wash cloth, and some bandages, and a plate with three over-easy eggs, five strips of bacon, and a cup of orange juice balanced in the middle of the plate in her other hand. She carefully used her elbows to turn the doorknob and gently pushed the door open. The man was still asleep on the floor as he had been before.

Jillian set the plate down beside the sleeping man, freeing one hand. She reached out tentatively, hesitant to touch him. She nudged his shoulder with two fingers. No response. She put her palm on his shoulder and gave a gentle shake. The blanket fell back revealing that the man was not wearing clothing, and his entire body was covered in scars. Jillian quickly threw the blanket over the man, covering him back up. She was instantly embarrassed at having looked at him, even if it was only his back side. She took a deep breath and grabbed his shoulder more firmly, holding the blanket in place this time. Giving a gentle shake she whispered, “Excuse me. Excuse me, sir?” and the man’s eyes flashed open. She let go and practically fell backwards as he sat bolt upright, his eyes searching the room, though she couldn’t tell if it was panic or confusion. Those eyes though. They were the same color as the wolf’s eyes. In a moment, the man realized the blanket was the only thing covering him and he gripped it tightly to his chest, still sitting on the floor.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know anyone lived here. I… I just needed some place to sleep. I’m so sorry. I… I need to go.” Remus stammered.

“Please don’t rush off. It seems you’ve had a rough night. I made you some breakfast.” Jillian pointed to the plate on the floor. “I brought you a cloth and some antibiotics and bandages for your neck. The sink over there has water, you can wash up.” She paused, trying to find an appropriate way to convey her next statement. “The laundry room is across the hall. I don’t have any men’s underwear, but you might be able to find some clothes that might fit in there. Please, feel free to take whatever fits you.” Another awkward pause. “I’m going to be upstairs, at the table. You are welcome to join me with your breakfast if you want a more civilized place to eat. I have more bacon, and I can cook more eggs. Or I can make toast. Just please don’t climb out the window naked... “ Jillian could feel the heat in her cheeks as she blushed at the thought. And with that she backed out of the room, closing the door.

Remus stared at the closed door. He listened to the young woman’s footsteps as she went up the stairs. Every level of confusion collapsed in on him. He was sure he’d cast protection spells on the door. He’d been doing this for years, he always made sure to lock and double lock everything to make sure he couldn’t escape. How had she been able to open the door to bring him breakfast? How much had she seen? Of his transformation. Of his body. Bits of the night before started to press through his mental haze. He remembered running away from the safe house. He remembered finding this place. He remembered casting the protection spells. Remus stood up, keeping the blanket around him. He moved to the sink, removing all of the charms and protections he’d placed the night before. He wet the cloth and used it to wipe away the dried blood. There was no point in putting muggle medicine on it. Werewolf injuries were cursed wounds and didn’t respond to such ointments.

He stepped to the door and opened it slowly. As he shuffled into the basement hallway he looked around. Not much to see. Just an old small basement. He crossed the hallway to the laundry room, which was little more than a closet with a washer and a dryer taking up most of the space, and a couple laundry baskets of clean and folded clothes stacked on top of the washer, a pile of clean and folded blankets on the dryer. He used one hand to look through a laundry basket as he used the other to hold the blanket up. He pulled a pair of jeans out of the basket that looked like they might at least cover him better than the blanket. They were too short and too wide, but at least they were pants. Men's pants at that. Perhaps they belonged to the young woman’s boyfriend. He pulled them on and dropped the blanket to use both hands to look through the basket. He blushed when he accidentally ran his hands over a pair of ladies panties. He set the laundry basket back and picked up the other, finding a button-up top that hung a little loosely over his thin frame, but it worked. He folded the blanket up and carried it with him back to the storage room where he picked up the plate of food, the antibiotic ointment, bandages, and the tattered remains of his clothing. Up the stairs he went.

“I wasn’t sure where to put these.” Remus set the pile on the table opposite the young woman. He set the plate on the table and sat down awkwardly.

“I suppose it’s cold by now. Let me make some fresh eggs for you.” the woman stood up and started for the kitchen.

“No, it’s OK. Please, sit down. I… I don’t even know your name.”

“My name is Jillian, but I prefer Jilly.” She turned back to the table, folding one leg under her as she sat down. “And what might I call you?” she asked.

“I’m…” he faltered.  _ Should I give her my real name? What if she knows too much? What the hell Remus - you already broke into her house, you’re wearing her boyfriend’s clothes, and you’re eating her food… _ “I’m Remus.”

“Remus. That’s an interesting name. Like Romulus and Remus, from the mythology of Rome?” before she could continue her brain prickled at the thought - named after a child raised by a wolf… she smiled.

He liked her smile. It put him at ease. “Yeah, something like that.” he ran his hand back over his shoulders. He ached everywhere and he was so tired.

“You had a rough night. Is there anything I can do? Someone I can call, or …” she trailed off, not really sure how to end her sentence.

Suddenly the hazy memory of last night came back to him. Breakfast wasn’t the first time she’d opened that door. He remembered seeing her before that. Seeing her while transformed. He remembered her tossing the blanket in. How had she opened the door? How had he not managed to attack her? Something wasn’t right but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Then it occurred to him. She hadn’t screamed. She hadn’t run away. She had made eye contact with him. She was afraid, but she didn’t react like a normal muggle would be expected to. And now, even having seen him for what he was last night, she had given him food, invited him to her table, given him clothes, and offered help to tend his wounds.

He realized he’d been silently staring at her, his mouth open, looking like a complete fool. He closed his mouth and looked away. What had they been talking about again? Right, who to call. “I’m supposed to meet up with someone for a business meeting today, but I don’t know how to get a hold of them. I suppose if I can find my way to the little boutique area with the cafe and the thrift shop, I should be able to figure out how to get where I need to be.”

“A business meeting. My apologies for your clothing then. Maybe there will be something more suitable in the boxes in the storage room. I’m pretty sure I have a box of mens pants. I hadn’t thought of it before. They’re old, but they might fit better. Would you like me to go get the box while you finish your breakfast? You can change in the bathroom.”

“I’d appreciate that very much. Thank you Jilly.” and he went back to eating his cold eggs and bacon.

She wasn’t sure why this strange man was so fascinating, but she felt drawn to him. He seemed kind, polite, and well educated. She went downstairs and came back up with a dusty box marked “Men's Pants.” Remus had finished his food and was standing at the sink washing the breakfast dishes. Such manners for such a curious character. He wiped his hands on the kitchen towel and took the box from her, thanking her as he walked off to the bathroom.

Several minutes later, Remus stepped out of the bathroom wearing pants that fit him much better. They weren’t really in style, but they looked a good deal better than the first pair. “I’ll return the clothes as soon as I can get my own. I don’t want to get in trouble with your boyfriend for stealing his clothes.”

She looked at him in confusion. “My what now? Come again?”

Realizing he may have said the wrong thing, he tried again, “The men's clothes, I assume are your boyfriend’s… or your husband’s?”

Jilly cracked a smile. ”That’s cute. You think a guy would put up with my ridiculousness? I don’t see that happening any time soon. The clothes from the laundry room are mine. The boxes in the storage room are thrift store finds that I plan to use for other projects. I once made five dollars cutting up old shirts and sewing them back together as little cat toys and selling them to the pet store down the road.”

That reminded him, “Can you get me there, so I can find my way back to where I need to be?”

“Sure, no problem. When do you need to be there?” Jilly was still smiling.

“I’m not really sure. I should probably head out soon. After last night they’ll probably be looking for me.” He was afraid of who else might be looking for him.

Jilly grabbed a coat from the back of the chair she was sitting on. “I’m ready to go whenever you want to head out.” they both realized at the same time that Remus didn’t have a coat. Quickly Jilly went to the closet by the door, grabbing a spare jacket as she pulled her shoes out. She walked back to the table, handed the jacket to Remus and sat down to put her shoes on.

“You seem prepared for every possibility. Antibiotics and bandages on hand, spare clothes, an extra jacket. Do strange naked men fall into your basement often?” Remus blushed even as the words came out of his mouth.

“No, I must say, you’re the first, but it’s been a pleasure to meet you.” She grabbed the shoes she’d collected from the storage room from under the table. She had brought them up with the box and he hadn’t noticed. Remus was relieved to find at least that much of his clothing was still intact. “I found them stuffed under a shelf. I think you might have chewed them up otherwise.”

Remus froze. She knew too much. How was she taking this all in stride? Trying to play it cool, he put his shoes on, finding the envelope with the muggle money and Matilda’s letter in his left shoe. What a relief. He would have enough to pick up some clothes at the thrift shop if he couldn't get back into the safe house so he could return these clothes to Jilly.

Remus continued to thank Jilly the entire walk to the boutique block. She offered to walk him to his destination, but he knew the other werewolves would likely be watching the place, and he didn’t want any trouble.

“Well, if you need a place to crash, I have a couch. It’s much more comfortable than the basement floor.” Jilly offered before waving at him as he walked away.


	7. Unexpected Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jilly has unexpected visitors.

Not sure what he would find, Remus made his way, tired and sore but thankful for the warm jacket, back to the safe house. The police officers were gone, the neighbors were nowhere to be seen. The street was again quiet and mundane. He stepped up to the door and was about to lean over to grab the rock for the key when the door opened in front of him. Matilda reached out and grabbed Remus by the arm, “Get in here!” she pulled him into the house with surprising strength for an elderly woman. “Where were you last night?” she scowled as she let go of Remus and closed the door.

“There were police and people, and I couldn’t get in. I got chased, I ended up lost. So I found an abandoned basement, cast all the protection spells, and transformed there. I was safely locked in. I made sure to remove all the spells before I left.” Remus hoped she wouldn’t pry. He was a terrible liar.

“How did you find your way back then?” Matilda asked. Oh she was a sly woman.

“I had to find my way back to the shops, but from there I remembered the way back.” It was only half a lie. He did only need to find his way to the shops; he just had help in finding that way.

“Whose clothes are you wearing?” she looked at his clearly second hand clothes, which were completely out of character, since he’d been wearing the new clothes Dumbledore had provided him.

“I stole them. From the house I changed at.” Remus admitted. “I figured I could go to the thrift store and buy myself more clothes if the safe house wasn’t safe any more.”

“I thought you said it was abandoned. Abandoned houses don’t have clothes laying around.” Matilda narrowed her eyes.

Remus was suddenly thankful that the clothes were outdated and from the thrift shop originally anyway. “They were in a dusty box. I don’t think they’ll be missed. I could certainly break in again and return them if you think it would be less suspicious.” Remus offered.

“That won’t be necessary.” A look of relief came across Matilda’s face. “I was so worried for you. The place was crawling with police when I got here last night. I had to explain to them that I was renting it out to you while you were in town temporarily and it was already past sunset by the time they all left. They had found your notes, and were asking questions. I had to use memory charms on them. I spoke to the neighbors, so hopefully they won’t be an issue anymore. We’ve never had a safe house compromised before, much less on the night of a full moon. I’m so sorry dear.”

“We must have just missed each other last night. I’m truly sorry for the chaos and for causing you to worry.” Remus yawned, his eyes watering. He still wasn’t feeling well, and all he wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep the day away.

Matilda must have figured as much. Patting Remus on the shoulder she smiled, “I’ll see myself out and lock the door behind me. You get some rest. I’ll be by tomorrow afternoon to pick you up. Scott wants you to come over for dinner with the family. It’s our traditional weekly family meal. I’m cooking a ham.” and with that Matilda stepped out the door, the lock clicked, and Remus was alone again.

Utterly exhausted, he hung the coat in the closet, pulled his shoes off, and staggered off to the bedroom where he crawled onto the bed, not bothering to take his clothes off or pull the covers over. He was fast asleep immediately.

Shortly after returning home, Jilly had a knock on her door. She opened it to see a man and a woman standing on the dangerously tipped porch. “How can I help you?” Jilly asked.

“We’re here to investigate some reports of burglaries in the area. A couple houses were broken into last night and there were reports of strange sounds. Were you home last night?” The woman, though no taller than Jilly, had a threatening look to her.

“I was home all night, but I slept like a baby. I didn’t hear a thing. Nobody would bother breaking in here. I have nothing of value to steal.” Jilly shrugged.

“We have reason to believe the burglar may have targeted this house.” the woman pressed.

It occurred to Jilly that these two had not identified themselves as police officers, and were not in any particular uniform. She guessed it may have something to do with Remus being… different. The best lies always incorporate a bit of truth, so she went for it.

“Well, I can certainly look around, but I’m sure I’d notice if someone was in my house. The walls are thin and the floors creak.” she paused, seeing if her ruse was working.

“You were seen with someone today near the shops. Who was he?” the woman continued. Now it was getting interesting.

“The guy with the face scars? Yeah, I went to get my Sunday newspaper and he was walking by. Asked for directions. I figured it was easier to show him the way. I could use the exercise anyway.” Jilly slapped her belly. “Not much of a talker, but he said thanks when we got to the bakery and then I came home. I couldn’t tell you much more. I didn’t catch his name and I didn’t stick around long enough to see which way he went.”

“Can we come in to confirm your story?” the man took a step forward and started to reach for the door.

“Do you have a warrant? I didn’t catch your names. Who do you work for? I’d like to confirm your identities with my dad. He’s a police officer you know.” Jilly lied, she didn’t know any police officers but she knew if she was bold enough in saying it, she wasn’t likely to be called out for it. She stood her ground blocking the doorway.

The man backed up the step he’d taken, hesitating. He looked at the woman, and the woman replied, “If you see the man again, please give us a call. He’s dangerous.” and she handed Jilly a business card. It said “No-Maj Relations And Security” and had a phone number but no other information.

“I will certainly let you know if I see him again.” and with that she shut and locked the door. Jilly set the card on the table, glancing over at the two plates, two forks, and two cups in the dish drainer. She walked back over to the couch and slumped into a heap. What had she gotten herself into?


	8. What Do You See?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus returns to talk to Jilly.

It was nearly six in the evening when Remus woke up. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, stretched, and rubbed his sore shoulders. The memory of the previous night and that morning flooded back to him. He realized he’d slept in the clothes she’d given him. Remus wasn’t sure what it was about Jilly, but he was intrigued by her. How had she gotten into that room? Why had she been kind to him after seeing him like that? He wanted to talk to her again. He took the clothes off, cast a cleaning spell, folded them neatly on the bed, and went to take a shower.

Remus had been paying attention as Jilly had brought him to the shops, and he was pretty sure he could find his way back to her house if he went to the boutique block first. He tucked the folded clothes into the jacket and headed toward the shops. It was already getting dark out, but Remus was on a mission.

A knock on the door startled Jilly out of her daydream. She crossed the house and opened the door to find Remus standing on the dilapidated porch, a small bouquet of flowers in one hand and an unsure smile on his face. Jilly paused for a moment, wondering if her strange daydream hadn’t actually ended. She rubbed her eyes and looked again. Remus still stood there, on the porch. Confused, she stepped back into the house inviting him in. “Did you miss me so much that you’re back already?” she teased.

Remus swallowed hard, “I came to return your clothes, and to thank you for your hospitality.” He handed her the bouquet. There were daisies and baby’s breath and a couple carnations. Being Sunday evening, most of the shops had been closed, but the mini mart on the corner was still open and had flowers. “I was going to get myself a new coat at the thrift store, but it would seem they’re not open on Sundays. May I please continue to borrow the coat until I can find a reasonable replacement?” he handed her the folded clothes from underneath the coat as he took it off as well.

“You can have it if you want it. I don’t need it...” she stopped herself, “unless you’re using it as an excuse to come back and see me again…” she gave him a sideways glance and a teasing smile.

He couldn’t help but smile back. It hadn’t occurred to his tired mind that it might be seen as flirting to want to keep the jacket a little longer. He looked at the ground, raising his hand to rub the back of his neck, “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’m only here for a short while. I promise I’ll get it back to you before I have to head back home.”

Remus rubbed his neck and shoulders, grimacing as he did. “I don’t mean to overstep, but would you like a shoulder rub? I’m told I’m pretty good at it.” Jilly offered.

It had been so long since he’d had a shoulder rub, it sounded wonderful, but part of him was hesitant to be in such close physical proximity after bringing her flowers and being accused of flirting with her. Part of him craved it. Not just the shoulder rub, but the feeling of human connection. Physical contact. He missed it.

“I promise I’ll stop if you don’t like it.” nobody had ever turned down a free shoulder rub. His hesitation was confusing.

Remus shrugged and nodded, then sat down at the table. He spotted the business card and stiffened. “Where did you get this?” he tried to keep his voice calm, but his heart was racing.

“This morning a couple of people stopped by asking questions. I told them I didn’t know you, you were never in the house, and they left when I threatened to call the police.” Jilly stepped up behind Remus and put one hand on either shoulder, rolling the knots under his shoulder blades with either thumb. Remus let out a heavy sigh as his muscles popped back and forth under her thumbs as she worked up and down his shoulders. “They said they’d seen us together by the shops, so I told them I’d met you outside and you’d asked for directions. I told them you didn’t talk much and that I didn’t know where you went. Were they friends of yours?”

“Definitely not.” came Remus’ muffled reply as he’d lowered his head onto his arms on the table. Jilly continued to work on his shoulders going back and forth between rubbing the stubborn knots and gently working through the strain in his neck. Remus was relaxing to the point he started to drool onto his shirt sleeves, his eyes closed. Jilly worked from his shoulders, up his neck, and slid her fingers through the hair at the back of his head, offering a tease of a scalp massage. Remus let out an inadvertent groan which caused Jilly to giggle. Remus opened his eyes, realized he was drooling and sat up. “That was wonderful, thank you.” He didn’t want it to stop but was afraid of embarrassing himself between drooling and making stupid noises. Jilly came around and sat across the table from him. He put his hands under the table to hide the drool spots on his sleeves.

“Jilly, what do you see when you look at me?” Remus asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Jilly gazed at him from across the table, taking in everything. “I see a kind man. An educated and polite guy who does the dishes, returns borrowed belongings, and brings a girl flowers just to say thank you.” she smiled.

Remus didn’t believe her; she hadn’t mentioned his scars. It’s the first thing everyone sees, but he continued on anyway. “And what did you see in the storage room last night?”

Jilly was slightly taken aback and the memory hit her hard. Her smile faded. She thought for a moment before responding. “I saw an animal in pain. I saw a wolf with beautiful grey fur and human features.” She stopped. “I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how. So I just stayed there, all night, listening to it cry; and my heart broke for it.” Jilly suddenly felt ashamed to have admitted such a deep feeling to someone she hardly knew.

Remus stared at Jilly as Jilly stared anywhere but in Remus’ direction.  _ She didn’t call me a monster, _ Remus thought.


	9. Second Only To The Cruciatus Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jilly asks Remus some uncomfortable questions.

The next weeks went by in a blur. Remus would spend his days with Scott and other werewolves asking questions, interviewing, taking notes. Every evening after Matilda dropped him off at the safe house, he’d walk back over to Jilly’s house, trying a new way each day to stagger his path. She always showed him nothing but kindness and respect. They’d play board games, card games, watch a television movie, or just sit and talk for hours. He’d get back to the safe house late at night, fall asleep, and do it all again the next day.

There were far more people living with lycanthropy than he’d imagined, or at least more that were willing to come out and talk about it with him. He’d had to buy more pencils and notebooks, and nearing a month in, he still had weeks of work left. He’d written a letter and sent it the muggle way to Dumbledore to tell him about how things were going. He wrote about some of the interesting werewolves he’d met, though he intentionally left out that word in case the letter was intercepted. He discussed employment and how the den here had virtually integrated into the local muggle community.

He had thought long and hard about writing Dumbledore regarding Jilly. In the end, he wanted his friend’s opinion, so he did, begrudgingly, write a few pages regarding how they’d met - minus details that would oust him if the letter fell into the wrong hands. He asked Dumbledore about the curious way she’d been able to open the protected door. He still couldn’t figure it out. Perhaps Dumbledore would have some snippet of information from a dusty tome that could explain it away.

As the moon phases progressed, Remus decided he’d stay a little longer. He still had work to do here and he was collecting valuable information. Knowing that the safe house was safe again, he’d be able to use the basement ‘changing room’ and not put anyone at risk. He’d have time to properly prepare this time so he didn’t destroy his clothes again.

The full moon was two nights away when he told Jilly he wouldn’t be able to come by for a couple nights. She looked concerned at first, but then glanced out the window at the bright moon and smiled sadly at him. “It hurts, doesn’t it? The change?”

He hadn’t ever actually talked to her about what had happened that first night. She had never inquired further and he had never admitted to what he was, but it was clear that she knew. There was no sense in trying to lie about it. “It’s the most painful experience. Excruciating. I imagine it’s second only to a cruciatus curse.”

Of course Jilly had no idea what a cruciatus curse was, but she figured if only one thing existed more painful, it must be pretty bad. She reached out and put her hand on his arm giving a gentle squeeze. “Is there anything I can do to help?” She was genuinely concerned.

“No, not really. There’s no cure, and only one - very expensive and complicated - potion that can help ease some of the symptoms, but it’s difficult to come by and well out of my price range. I don’t waste my time thinking about it anymore.” Remus put on a fake smile to try to ease her concern, but she saw right through it.

“And you have somewhere safe? I mean, you can use the storage room again if you need to -”

“Yes, I mean no. I mean…” Remus interrupted her stumbling over his own words. “I have a safe place. I wouldn’t want to put you at risk again. But thank you for the offer.”

There was an awkward silence between them as both passed thoughts in their heads of things they’d like to say but weren’t sure enough to speak out loud. Jilly broke the silence, “Were your parents like this too?”

The memory of his parents brought a lump to his throat. His mother had passed away, and his father - his father was a good man who deserved a good life without the inconveniences of a son with - issues. “No, but they have been supportive.” He wasn’t sure what else to say.

“How long have you been this way?” Jilly was so curious, but she could see that it was an uncomfortable topic for Remus as he tensed up, looked away, and kept running his fingers over his more prominent scars. She almost regretted asking, but she wanted to know.

“A long time. Most of my life.” he could tell she wanted more than he was giving her. “I was four. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m sorry Remus. I didn’t mean to pry. I didn’t realize it was such a sensitive subject.” she searched her mind for something else to say to change the subject but was drawing a blank, which just left more awkward silence between them.

“I should head back. Thank you for the snacks tonight.” Remus stood up, collected the jacket he still hadn’t replaced, and paused at the door. Jilly didn’t know what to say, so she just gave him a sad smile and a cheesy wave, as he let himself out the door and disappeared into the night.

The next several days Remus didn’t return. Jilly started to think she’d pushed too hard, asked too many questions. She didn’t know where Remus was staying and had no way to check in on him.


	10. Bring Her Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is forced to cut his trip short.

Two days after the full moon, a letter arrived via the muggle post addressed to Remus at the safe house address; it was from Dumbledore. He was intrigued by the letter Remus had sent him and wanted to meet Jilly in person. He asked Remus to bring her back with him if at all possible. Remus’ head felt like it was spinning. Bring her back? How was that going to work? Remus couldn’t see himself knocking on Jilly’s door and asking her to run off to Britain with him. Where would she stay? She’d never agree to it anyway. She seemed happy here in her little run down house. What could he possibly say to her to convince her to come to Britain without giving false pretenses? Remus was so consumed by the thought of what to say to Jilly that he didn’t go to visit her that night either.

The next evening, after Matilda left, Remus stepped outside. He walked down to the shops and picked up another little bouquet of flowers before heading to Jilly’s house. He was nearly there, just a couple blocks away, he could see her lights on, when something caught his attention. Before he could even point his wand a dark figure stepped out of the shadows between two houses and hissed “Expelliarmus!” Remus’ wand went flying into a yard. A second figure appeared, then a third. Remus was surrounded. He put his hands up unsure of what to expect next.

The first person pulled their hood back revealing a young man, probably his own age, who kept his wand pointed at Remus at all times. “We’ve been watching this house for weeks. NM-RAS has some questions for you.”

“NM-RAS? What’s that?” Remus racked his mind trying to find any rational explanation.

“No-Maj Relations And Security. What are you, stupid?”

“No, he’s British…” answered the one behind Remus.

“Shut up Dave. I don’t care if he’s Lithuanian - when he’s here he has to play by our rules. And our rules say no fraternizing with no-maj’s.” he turned back to Remus, “So would you like to explain what you’ve been doing in there with that no-maj girl at night? Or would you like us to go in there and get that information straight from her?” the thinly veiled threat made Remus start to sweat.

“I, we, it’s not like that. I swear. We’re just friends. We play muggle board games and watch muggle television.” Remus was trying to keep his composure and not advertise how much the thought of them potentially hurting Jilly was literally making him sick to his stomach.

“Right, and you bring her flowers…” he grabbed the bouquet from Remus, threw it on the ground and stomped on it, grinding it into the pavement. “Stay away from no-maj’s wolf-boy. Your kind aren’t welcome here. Go back to Europe.” he gave Remus a hard shove, knocking him back into the other two who shoved him forward. The man in front side-stepped and Remus ended up on his hands and knees on the sidewalk over the crushed flowers. The man in front kicked Remus hard in the gut before spitting on the ground in front of him. He leaned down and growled “If we see you around here again, we won’t be so nice.” and all three left as quickly as they had appeared.

Remus closed his eyes and tried to regain his composure. He felt like throwing up. He was shaking from head to toe, but was it rage or frustration? Maybe a taste of both. Shakily he stood up. “Accio wand” Remus held his hand out toward the lawn and his wand came back to him. Dusting himself off he whispered a quick healing spell to get rid of the scrapes on his hands and knees before putting his wand away.

Remus wasn’t about to go back to the safe house. Those thugs might follow him. And he wasn’t about to put Jilly at risk by marching straight up to her house after such a bold attack. Instead, Remus turned around and walked back to the boutique block. He walked into the pizzeria and straight into their bathroom, where he promptly disapperated.

Jilly jumped at the loud pop from the living room. She came racing out of the kitchen to see Remus standing in the middle of the living room, the knees of his pants stained with dirt and what looked like a little blood. “How did you get in here?” she looked back toward the door on the other side of the kitchen.

“It’s not important. Jilly, this is going to sound absolutely absurd, but the people who gave you that card after our first meeting - they’ve been watching your house. They’re not happy that I’ve been visiting you. I need to leave. It’s not safe for me here anymore. I risk bringing their wrath down on …" he paused, realizing what he was about to divulge, “the others like me.” Jilly didn’t bat an eyelash. “I’m leaving tonight. I have to go back home. I know this is crazy, but will you come with me? I have a friend back in Britain who would like to meet you. If you don’t want to, I’d underst-”

“Yes.” Jilly said without hesitation. Remus stared at her for a moment in disbelief. Well, that was easier than he’d expected. “I kept feeling like I was being watched every time I walked to work and back.” It hadn’t occurred to Remus that Jilly had had employment.

“How long will it take you to be ready to leave?” Remus looked anxiously out the window but could see nothing in the dark but his own reflection.

“If it’s an emergency, let’s just go. Stuff is just stuff. It’s not important.” Remus paused. Perhaps Jilly hadn’t understood him.

“What about clothes, or valuables? Important family heirlooms?” Remus suggested.

“You said it had to be tonight. You magically appeared in my living room.” his heart faltered when she mentioned magic. “Your knees are bleeding. Clearly this is urgent. Let’s go.” Jilly started for the door.

“No.” Remus grabbed her by the arm. “Hold on to me and don’t let go. Understand?”

She clenched both hands in a death grip on his arm in response, and Remus and Jilly disapparated with a loud crack.

They reappeared in the bedroom of the safe house. Jilly, still with a death grip on Remus’ arm lurched forward gagging. She let go with one hand, putting it on the wall to steady herself. Wobbling she choked back another gag. “I’m going to be sick.”

“Bathroom’s there.” Remus pointed to the door across the small bedroom, and Jilly made a dash for it, making it to the toilet just in time to relieve herself of her dinner.


	11. Leaving America

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus leaves America.

“That was awful. Do you travel like that all the time?” Jilly finally emerged from the bathroom after hugging the toilet for several minutes and then vigorously washing her mouth out in the sink.

“Usually only when I need to get somewhere fast. It comes in handy sometimes. The first time is always a bit of a shock. It’s not so bad once you get used to it.” he smiled and handed her a spare toothbrush from his suitcase.

Jilly glared at his smile, but took the toothbrush with a flustered “Thank you.” before returning to the bathroom.

“I’ve got to figure out how to get a hold of Matilda. She’ll know how to get us out of here.” Remus spoke louder while he finished packing up the suitcase so Jilly would be able to hear him in the bathroom.

“Where are we now?” Jilly asked as she spit out toothpaste, “And who is Matilda?”

“This is the place I’ve been staying at. It’s not far from the shops. Matilda is my host while I’m here. She drives me to my meetings and makes sure I’ve got everything I need.”

“Do you have her phone number?” Jilly asked walking out of the bathroom again, handing him the toothpaste. The blank look on his face was enough answer. She stepped past him and out the bedroom door, toothbrush still in hand, and he followed her out. A quick look around the living room and kitchen area and she had spotted the phone, mounted to the wall. A piece of paper was taped to the wall beside the telephone with a couple numbers, including one for a Matilda. Jilly picked up the receiver, dialed the numbers, and handed it to Remus.

“Hello? Matilda? It’s Remus. I’m afraid I’ve had something come up, and I need to leave at once. I know it’s short notice, but I have to ask - can you arrange muggle travel back to Britain for two?” He paused listening to her response. “I can explain when you get here. Please make sure you aren’t followed.” Another pause. Remus looked at Jilly before responding, “I’m not sure if I can do that.” Pause. “She’s” Remus dropped his voice to a whisper to finish his sentence. Jilly could hear the explosive response from the other end of the conversation. Clearly whatever he’d said wasn’t well received. Remus put his free hand up to his neck and started rubbing the scars that stretched across behind his neck. “I… I know. I don’t have a choice Matilda.” The woman on the other side was nearly yelling at this point but Jilly couldn’t make out the words. “Yes, I’ll make it work. I’ll be there in a minute.” Remus hung up the phone.

“We need to get to the meeting spot. Matilda doesn’t want to risk exposing the safe house location. We’re going to need to apparate again.” Remus waited to see how Jilly would respond.

Jilly gave a frustrated sigh, “I just brushed my teeth.” She tucked the toothbrush into her pocket and stepped toward Remus.

“I have to grab my suitcase. And the coat!” He dashed to the closet to retrieve the coat Jilly had borrowed him at their first meeting, and then ran into the bedroom, stuffing it into the suitcase, shutting it with a click, and returning to Jilly, who was still standing near the telephone. Remus put his free hand out and as soon as she took his hand they disapparated away.

They were suddenly at the secondary meeting place, where Remus had been doing his daily interviews. An elderly woman was there, looking rather agitated. Jilly took a moment to get her bearings, fighting back the urge to puke. She took a deep breath, steadied her nerves, and let go of Remus’ hand. He’d been right, the first time was awful, but the second time was merely disorienting and uncomfortable.

Remus quickly explained his unpleasant meeting with the NMRAS goons to Matilda. “They’re not an official group.” Matilda explained. “They’re just a bunch of pure-blood enthusiasts who like to meddle when they see any chance to interrupt a potential mixed relationship. I didn’t realize we had any of them in our area, but we’ll be on the lookout for them now.”

Jilly was appalled. “Why would they do that to you?” Oddly enough choosing not to ask about the terminology. Both Remus and Matilda stopped and looked at Jilly, as if they’d forgotten she was there for a moment.

“How much does she know?” Matilda asked Remus as though Jilly weren’t right there beside him.

“Enough. She knows… enough.” Remus wished he’d had time to explain more, but he’d been keeping his meetings with Jilly a secret. He’d have to admit to exposing himself as a fully transformed werewolf to a muggle if he was truthful, and that would almost certainly earn her a memory charm from the American Ministry, and him possibly worse.

“Very well.” Matilda walked across the room to a hidden cupboard and pulled out a breadbox sized wooden crate. There was a metal name plate on the top with “Hogwarts” engraved on it. She opened it and there was a small glass ball inside. “You’ll have to go the way you came.”

Remus turned to look at Jilly. She knew she wasn’t going to like what he was going to say next from the look on his face. “This is a portkey. When you touch it, it brings you to a specific place. This one is set to go back to Hogwarts. That’s a school, where my friend is the headmaster. It’s not a pleasant mode of travel. You’ll probably get sick. I need you to make a choice. You can come with me, and it’s going to get really weird from here on out, or you can stay, and go home, and go on with your life here. I can’t make you any promises either way. I’m not going to force you to leave your home.” He left out the part about getting her memory wiped if she decided to stay.

Jilly reached out for the glass ball, but Remus caught her hand and pulled it away. “Hold my hand, and don’t let go of the portkey once you touch it. We need to grab it at the same time.” He handed his suitcase to Matilda, “Please send this back to Hogwarts with the muggle post. Thank you for being my host. I found this visit to be most enjoyable, all things considered. Please extend my appreciation to Scott and the other den members.” Reaching into his back pocket Remus pulled out the folded envelope which still contained most of the spending money. He handed it to Matilda and thanked her one last time, and with that he squeezed Jilly’s hand and they both reached for the glass ball.


	12. Portkey Sickness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jilly suffers portkey sickness and Remus discusses arrangements.

Remus had been right again. This mode of travel was quite possibly even worse than the first. Fortunately it didn’t last long, but even when the world stopped spinning, Jilly was still disoriented and sick to her stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to talk herself out of throwing up again when she became aware of the odd noises around her. She opened her eyes, and for a moment the sick feeling ebbed away and she was enthralled by the room she found herself in. It was round, with a large fireplace and a huge desk. The walls were covered in what appeared to be flat television screens with a different sleeping character on each screen. There were shelves and shelves of books, and strange delicate tables full of silver doo-dads she didn’t recognize. There was a shuffle of fabric and Jilly turned to see a tall man with long white hair dressed in robes standing before Remus, who had let go of her hand and was now hugging the robed man. Her vision went fuzzy and she felt sick again. Wobbling on her feet she decided it would be better to sit on the floor than fall over, so she lowered herself unceremoniously to the ground. The world started spinning again and Jilly flattened herself against the floor and closed her eyes to try to make it stop. When she opened them, the white haired man was knelt down beside her. He had kind eyes.

“Portkey sickness is a common side effect, especially for people who aren’t used to it. I’ll have Madam Pomfrey take you to the hospital wing. She’ll be able to get you feeling more like yourself.” Jilly wasn’t sure if she’d lost consciousness temporarily or if the woman beside her had appeared out of nowhere, but there was a woman there now, helping her up and bringing her out the door and down the stairs.

Remus watched the two women leave as the door slid shut behind them. “It’s the middle of the night, and we left in a hurry. How did you know to expect us?” Remus asked Dumbledore.

“By now you should know that sometimes I just know things. Come, sit. What did you learn while you were abroad?” Dumbledore walked around to the other side of the desk and sat down, Remus sank into the chair in front of the desk.

“I learned a lot, actually. There’s a lot of good information. I had to leave my notes with the suitcase. Matilda will be sending it over by muggle mail. It’s a lot slower, but it’ll get here eventually. I needed both hands to make sure Jilly made it safely.” Remus glanced back at the door for a moment. “There’s a group over there, of purebloods. They call themselves No-Maj Relations And Security. They take it upon themselves to meddle and threaten any wizard who seems to take any kind of interest in a muggle. Even if it’s strictly platonic. After last month’s debacle, they were tipped off, and I guess it got under their skin that I was visiting her. Tonight they accosted me. I was disarmed before I even realized they were there. I was distracted,” his mind went back to the crushed flowers on the sidewalk. “I suppose you’ll have questions for her once she’s feeling better. I still can’t figure out how she got into that room.” scowling, Remus found himself tracing his neck scars again. After a long pause, he looked up at Dumbledore, who was watching and waiting as if he knew the next question before Remus could bring it up. “Where will she stay?”

“Since you will have to wait for your suitcase to arrive with your notes, and she will likely be in the hospital wing with portkey sickness for the next week, it seems most logical that you’d both stay here. There are a few professors who have places in Hogsmeade, so we have some teacher’s quarters that aren’t being used. You can stay in one of them in the meantime. There’s only a week left of school. Once she’s out of the hospital wing, I’d like you to look after her.”

“Me? I can hardly feed myself. I live in a run down little cottage, I can’t find steady work. I’m dangerous. I can’t take her in.” Remus fretted.

“Remus,” Dumbledore looked him in the eye, “when you sent that letter and you wrote about Jilly, you talked about her the way you used to talk about James, Peter, and Sirius.” The mention of their names instantly brought tears to Remus’ eyes and his heart hurt. “Clearly, being able to get into a warded room is not the only thing that makes Jilly special.”

“It’s not like that.” Remus’ voice came out just above a whisper as he tried to keep his composure. He missed his friends. His mind flooded with memories of their Marauder days, but then tarnished with the memories of the war. The last time he’d seen Sirius, they’d fought. He’d suspected Sirius had been spying, but he couldn’t prove it. He’d been off on a mission when it had all come apart. He lost all of his friends in one fell swoop.

“I didn’t mean to bring up dark memories Remus. You look exhausted. We can talk more about arrangements in the morning. I’ll have Filch bring you to one of the empty teacher’s quarters.


	13. A Quick Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Jilly feeling better, the testing begins.

The nightmares were particularly bad that night. Remus tossed and turned, waking himself up frequently. He replayed that last argument with Sirius in his head on repeat. He was more tired by morning than he’d been when he laid down.

Deciding that there wasn’t anything to be gained from sleeping all day, he climbed out of bed. Since he hadn’t brought a change of clothes, Remus cast a quick cleaning spell on his clothing and was ready to start his day. His first stop would be the hospital wing to check on Jilly.

As Remus stepped into the hospital wing he noticed that all of the beds were empty, save one. That one had a very small person in it, clearly a student, likely a first year, fast asleep. He didn’t see Madam Pomfrey either. He walked past the beds to the door to Madam Pomfrey’s office. The door was ajar and he could hear her voice inside.

“I just don’t understand. You only had one dose. Most students with portkey sickness are down and out for a week!”

Remus knocked on the door, and Madam Pomfrey opened it the rest of the way inviting him in. Jilly was sitting on a chair beside her and they were both nibbling on toast. “Feeling better I see. You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” Remus was cut off by the arrival of Dumbledore, no doubt also looking for an update on Jilly.

“Up and recovered already! You are a mystery aren’t you Miss Jilly?” Dumbledore mused.

“I gave her one dose of anti-nausea potion last night, she slept through the night, and woke up right as rain. She’s already swept the entire hospital wing and wolfed down three pieces of toast.” Madam Pomfrey seemed impressed.

“If you’re feeling up to it Miss Jilly, I’d like to ask you some questions and maybe test out some theories. I’ve been told you managed to open a warded door on the night you first met Remus, and I’d like to see if you could do it again. Or perhaps if there are other things you might be able to do.” Dumbledore held out his hand to Jilly. “I’d be happy to bring you down to the kitchens first so you can get a proper breakfast.”

The promise of breakfast seemed to seal the deal and Jilly jumped up and took Dumbledore’s hand. With her other hand she grasped Remus by the forearm. “You’ll join us for breakfast?” He was hungry. It only just occurred to him that he hadn’t stopped to eat dinner the night before. The three of them left the hospital wing together.

Back in Dumbledore’s office, Remus told Dumbledore the spells he’d used, Jilly tried to explain that she hadn’t done anything but open the door, and Dumbledore cast a series of spells, including the ones Remus had used, on his own study door. Jilly wasn’t able to open it, no matter how many different spells they tried.

Sensing Jilly was getting frustrated, Dumbledore decided to try something else. With her consent he attempted a series of simple spells to see if they affected her. As expected, they did. By lunchtime Jilly was growing bored of the testing, and Dumbledore agreed to relent for the day, releasing Jilly and Remus to walk the school grounds so long as they agreed not to interrupt the students or the classes. Remus was happy to show Jilly around his old school, and she gladly listened to him regale her with stories of his adventures with his friends.


	14. Oompa Loompas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jilly gets accommodations at Hogwarts, and worries about Oompa Loompas.

The sun was setting, students had long since been dismissed from their classes, and Remus and Jilly decided they’d be less disruptive if they didn’t dine in the hall with the students. Instead they snuck into the kitchens, dished up plates, and Remus showed Jilly back to the small teacher’s quarters that he’d been given.

“I suppose we’ll have to find Dumbledore after dinner to figure out where he wants you to stay. He said there were other vacant suites available.” Remus took a bite of his biscuit.

Jilly stared into her mashed potatoes, stirring them idly with her fork. “So, the kids all stay here? They don’t go home at night?”

Remus swallowed his food, cocking his head at the odd question. “Well, they go home during the summer, and on holidays. But yes, they stay here throughout the school term. Isn’t that how it’s done in America?”

Jilly smiled at the thought. “Not at all. Boarding schools are only for rich folks. Normal kids go to public schools. You get up in the morning and take the bus to school, sit through classes for seven hours and then get back on the bus and go home. You get lunch at school, but never breakfast or dinner.”

“We have schools like that too. For normal kids I mean.” he paused, worried he may have offended her - but she didn’t seem to take offense. “Hogwarts is a wizarding school. All of the local, uh,” he tried to choose his words carefully, “all of the magical children come here, from all across Britain. It wouldn’t do to have them trying to travel back and forth every day.”

“Makes sense.” Jilly shrugged. “So how is the curriculum different between normal and wizard school?” Jilly saw Remus nearly choke on his food. Realizing she may have asked the wrong question, she clarified, “Do they still learn about history, math, and science? Or is it all about spells and potions?”

“We learn history, but it’s not exactly the same history. There’s also herbology, astronomy, potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, charms, transfiguration, and flying.”

“Flying?” Jilly looked confused.

“Of course.” Sensing Jilly was still picturing something not quite properly, Remus elaborated, “You know, flying. Like, on a broom.”

Jilly laughed out loud. “Flying on a broom? Seriously? Like the Halloween trope - witches and brooms? That’s a real thing?”

Remus couldn’t help but grin at how very innocent she was of all things magical. It was impressive that she seemed to be taking everything in stride. It must have been quite a shock, but she never seemed to be surprised. Earlier with Dumbledore she hadn’t stopped to ask how any of the spells worked, she just accepted that they did. She watched and she listened, and sometimes she’d ask a question here or there, but it never seemed to be the question you’d expect a muggle to ask.

They finished their meal with Remus telling her about that one time that he, James, Peter, and Sirius had snuck into the potions room at night. Jilly loved his stories. He seemed to come alive telling them, and she was happy to listen.

After dinner they strode through the mostly empty hallways to the Headmaster’s Office. Dumbledore was just stepping out of his office as they arrived, and greeted them with a smile, “Ah, I was just on my way to find you. I suppose you’re wondering where to unpack your toothbrush my dear.”

“My…” Jilly put her hand to her pocket, where the toothbrush was still tucked away - her only possession aside from the clothes on her back, “How did you…”

Remus leaned over and whispered, “Sometimes it’s best not to ask.”

“Right this way Miss Jilly” Dumbledore walked back the direction they’d come from. In fact they continued the same way they’d come from, until they were coming up on the door that led to Remus’ room.

Remus was starting to get nervous. Dumbledore wouldn’t make them share the space, would he? Internally Remus had already decided he’d be sleeping on the couch so Jilly could have the bed. There wasn’t much space for one person, let alone two in the teacher’s apartments.

Jilly was thinking much along the same lines. She liked Remus just fine, but she’d only known him for a month and a half, and she was mentally preparing excuses to leave the room to find the nearest bathroom so she wouldn’t have to share any… unpleasant or embarrassing moments with him.

Dumbledore stopped at the door just before Remus’. They both let out a sigh of relief in unison, neither noticing the other. Dumbledore’s eyes sparkled at the obvious anxiety they’d both endured. “This study will serve as your personal space while you stay at Hogwarts. If you need anything, Mister Lupin will be next door.”

Jilly closed the door behind her having said goodnight to Remus and Dumbledore. Looking around the small space she explored her new surroundings. Like Remus’ apartment there were three distinct rooms. A bedroom with a bed and a side table, a tiny bathroom, and a living area furnished with a table, a couple chairs, a loveseat, and a writing desk. There was a locked door on the other side of the living room. Remus had one in his room too and he said it connected to a classroom.

_ I wonder if I washed my clothes and hung them up if they’d be dry by morning _ Jilly thought. With no other options, no deodorant, and no spare clothes, she stripped down and jumped in the shower. She washed her clothes with the shampoo that was in the bathroom cupboard then squeezed them out and hung them up on the towel rack before washing her hair and finishing her shower. She was drying her hair and wishing for a hairbrush when she heard a knock at the door.

Stepping out of the bathroom she stared at the door in horror. The knock came again. “I’m…” she looked desperately around the room but there wasn’t a blanket to be found. “I’m not decent!” she called.

“Oh, uh… I’ll … Just talk to you tomorrow.” came Remus’ voice from the other side of the door.

“Give me a minute!” Jilly hollered as she stepped back into the bathroom searching for a second towel. Finding none, she used the wet towel and wrapped it around herself, tucking it in under one arm and praying it didn’t come undone. She crossed the living space and opened the door.

Remus stared at her for a moment, not really sure how to respond to a woman wearing nothing but a towel, hair still dripping, answering the door. “I was just going to ask if you wanted to play a card game before bed. You could’ve gotten dressed first…” he averted his eyes.

Jilly weighed her options in her mind before deciding on honesty, even if it was embarrassing. “I have no clothes. I mean, just the ones I’ve been wearing. And it’s been two days. I needed to wash them.” She noticed that the stains were gone from the knees of his pants.

Remus felt like a fool. Of course she wouldn’t know about cleaning spells, and with no pajamas, she’d not taken her clothes off for the house elves to clean them for her. “I can get them cleaned up for you.” he offered. When her face went crimson he realized, a little too late, that the offer sounded like a lame attempt to see her undergarments. “I mean, it’s a spell. I … nevermind. If you leave them on the bathroom floor the house elves will have them clean and folded by morning.”

“The what?” Jilly’s mind immediately went to a strange variation of a JRR Tolkien character and knew that couldn’t be right… or could it?

“A house elf… a small humanoid magical creature that does menial tasks to help people.” Remus couldn’t help but stare at the small puddle growing on the stone floor where Jilly’s hair continued to drip. “Can we just… close the door? I mean, if someone were to walk by right now…” Remus took a step back wanting nothing more in the moment than to get back to his own room and put this entire, incredibly embarrassing situation behind him.

“There are little oompa loompas that are going to come into the room while I sleep?” Jilly looked at Remus in terror.

“What’s an oompa loompa?” Remus asked out loud before he could stop himself.

Jilly grabbed Remus by the arm and pulled him into the study, practically slamming the door behind him. “I need you to magic my clothes clean.” she hurried into the bathroom and came out a moment later with her wet laundry draped over her arm. “What do I need to do?”

Remus was having the wildest mixed feelings. Her panic over house elves was borderline hilarious, but it was endearing at the same time. He tried to hide his smile by biting his lip. He waved his wand at the clothes in her arms and with a brief gust of wind from the wand, the clothes were clean and dry.

Relief spread across Jilly’s face as she did a little happy wiggle before bouncing off to the bathroom again, leaving Remus to wonder what in the world he’d just experienced.

A couple minutes later Jilly came back out of the bathroom, clean clothes back on, towel wrapped around her head to dry her hair. “Still up for some cards?” she asked hopefully.

“First I’d like you to tell me what an oompa loompa is.”


	15. Time To Leave Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Jilly must leave in a hurry.

Jilly had been hesitant to go to sleep, still unnerved by the thought of random people walking around the place while she slept, even after Remus assured her that the house elves were harmless and would work quietly enough not to disturb her slumber. She did eventually fall asleep. In the morning she found the bathroom stocked with towels and amenities, a hairbrush and toothpaste on the bathroom counter, and a couple clean shirts were hung in the closet which had been empty the night before. She refused to wear them, instead keeping her own clothes on. She brushed her hair and teeth and left to see if Remus was up yet.

Remus opened his door smiling at her, “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” he let her in to his suite and shut the door behind her. She saw his suitcase on the couch and notebooks spread across his table. Catching her line of sight he explained, “Matilda gave the suitcase to someone who was coming this way on an airplane, so it got here faster than the mail. Dumbledore brought it by earlier. I’m just going over some of my notes.”

“Do you want me to go, so you can keep working on this?” she asked politely.

“Oh no, please, sit with me.” he shuffled notebooks aside to clear a spot for her to sit.

“What’s on the itinerary today?” Jilly sat down at the cleared spot.

“We could go to Hogsmeade. Would you like to go explore?” Remembering she didn’t know what that meant he clarified, “Hogsmeade is the nearest town. There are some shops, the train station, we could go to the Three Broomsticks to get some butterbeer.”

“What about your notes?”

“They’ll still be here when we get back.” Remus put his hand out, inviting her to take it. She put her hand in his and he gently pulled her up from the chair. “Off we go then!”

By the end of the week Jilly was confidently finding her way from her suite to the headmaster’s office for her daily research projects with Dumbledore; though they didn’t seem to be figuring anything out. Their work left Remus with spare time so he was nearly done writing up his notes into a more official report. On Friday, all of the students had their trunks packed and headed off to Hogsmeade to catch the train back to London. The castle became much quieter, but it wouldn’t last.

Monday was the third of July. Jilly was finally starting to feel more at home at Hogwarts. Remus had been showing her around, pointing things out, telling her stories. He introduced her to a couple of the house elves so she wouldn’t feel so awkward about their nightly visits, and once the students had left for the summer several other clothing items showed up in her closet. She suspected they were things left behind by students that the house elves were finding. Mismatched socks, a t-shirt with a band she didn’t recognize (Remus told her they were a popular wizard band), a bright pink pair of pants with odd shaped buttons sewn all over them, a sweater that reminded her of shag carpeting, and a handful of clothes that were more appropriate that Jilly actually decided to wear.

Dumbledore had asked Remus for a private meeting that morning, Jilly assumed to either discuss the report Remus was writing, or the results of all the magical tests Dumbledore had been working on. Maybe both. Jilly took herself down to the kitchen to talk to some of the house elves and snag some cookies, as she wasn’t invited.

“I received a letter from your American friends today. You must have made quite an impression on them. Word got around about your incident with the non-muggle folks, and bringing Jilly back with you. They’ve taken donations and transferred the money to a bank account in your name. It’s not much but it should be enough for you and Jilly to live off of for a couple of months while you find employment.” Cutting Remus off before he could protest, Dumbledore went on. “I’m going to throw myself into research. I’ve done all I can with Jilly, and I can’t figure out how she broke your protection spell, but I’m sure there’s an answer if I just look hard enough.”

“I can’t take her home with me. I can’t provide for her. It’s dangerous for her to be near me. She can’t protect herself, and what if she manages to open another locked door?” Remus argued.

“You don’t have a choice Remus. The American Ministry found out about the illegal portkey, and when Jilly didn’t show up at work and missed her rent payment, people noticed she was missing. They are collecting information as we speak, and it won’t be long until they trace everything back to Hogwarts. I can throw them off, but you two can’t be here. You should have an hour or so before they send someone.” Dumbledore handed the letter to Remus, “all of the bank information is included. I’d advise you to post your thank you card from somewhere far away so they can’t track the post mark back to you.”

Remus went pale, his heart felt like it was in his throat. “Thank you old friend,” his eyes searched blindly as his thoughts raced, “I need to collect Jilly… We’ll be gone within the hour. Thank you.” Remus raced out of the headmaster’s office, through the hall, down the stairs and around the corner, picking up speed as he raced down the straight hallway to Jilly’s door. Sliding to a stop, Remus knocked as politely as he could with his adrenaline pumping. No answer. He rapped harder. Still no answer. Remus pounded again, calling her name, “Jilly… Jilly, it’s urgent… Jilly, are you there?”

A house elf apparated beside him with a snap, “Jilly is in the kitchen. I’ll tell her you want her to come at once.” Before Remus could respond, the house elf disappeared with another pop.

A few minutes later Jilly came jogging down the hallway panting, “What’s going on? What’d I miss?” she stopped to catch her breath and hold the stitch in her side.

“We need to go. Now. Can you be packed and ready in five or ten minutes?” Remus looked as frantic as he had been the night they came to Hogwarts. It set alarm bells off in Jilly’s head.

“Yeah, give me a couple minutes.” Jilly opened her door, leaving it open behind her as she started pulling clothes out of the closet and tossing them on the bed before stepping into the bathroom to grab the toothbrush. There was a pop from the bedroom and Jilly jerked her head back to find one of her house elf friends standing at the foot of the bed with a suitcase, quickly folding and packing everything in. “May I please take the hairbrush with me? And the toothpaste?” she asked. The house elf barely looked up from his task long enough to nod.

Within thirty minutes of Dumbledore’s warning, Jilly and Remus were walking through the secret passage on their way to Honeydukes.


	16. The Cottage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus brings Jilly home to his cottage.

A quick explanation of how to use the Floo Network, and Jilly and Remus were in a pub in Yorkshire. They didn’t stay there long as Remus led her out of the pub and down the road.

“Where are we going this time?” Jilly had held in the question as long as she could.

Remus kept walking, slowing his stride when he realized that his long legs were carrying him much faster than she could keep up with. “Home. I have a little cottage a ways out of town. It’s not much, but it should be safe… for now.” he clenched his jaw at the thought of the next full moon.

“Your home.” Jilly thought for a moment. “Should I be worried about offending Mrs. Lupin?”

The absurdity of a Mrs. Lupin stopped him in his tracks. He grinned at her, “You remember I was telling you about Sirius?” he started walking backwards down the dirt road keeping pace with her so they could face one another. Jilly nodded. “He was the closest I’ve come to a Mrs. Lupin.”

“Oh... Oh! Oh, it makes sense now. You… you prefer men?” Jilly stammered.

“Well, that one anyway. I try not to advertise it. He turned out to not be as good a friend as I thought.” his smile faded. “He’s in Azkaban for murdering James and his wife, and Peter, as well as a dozen muggles.” Remus suddenly went quiet, clearly struggling with his inner demons.

“I’m sorry to hear that Remus. You seemed to hold him in high regard. I didn’t realize…” she trailed off. What could she possibly say to make the situation any better? Remus turned back around walking slightly ahead of Jilly and they walked the rest of the way in silence.

‘A little cottage’ hadn’t been the best description of the home Remus brought Jilly to. It looked like it had been built out of mud and straw, parts of it had moss growing up the outer walls. The roof was made of various pieces of scrap metal and had a couple places where the roof was missing altogether. There were flowers growing on either side of the door, but they looked haphazardly placed, as though the wind had blown in wildflower seeds and he’d just not had the time to cut them back. The house was small; very small, maybe twenty feet by twenty feet. It was set far back from the road down a narrow dirt footpath through trees that obscured it from view from anyone passing by. It wasn’t until they were right up to the door that Jilly noticed the tiny tipping building further off a ways. Remus caught her looking and answered her before she could ask, “Outhouse.”

Remus opened the front door and stepped in; Jilly followed. They both had to duck to get in the door, but could stand up straight once they were inside. The entire house was a single room. A small bed was pushed into the far corner, a patched quilt spread over it. A nightstand seemed to double as a dresser as there were two stacks of clean folded clothes on the under-shelf. One bookshelf, stacked full of books, stood against the wall beside the foot of the bed. There was a small wood stove with a dented teapot set atop it. A tiny square table with a single chair was near the heater. The kitchen space had a hand water pump with a bucket in front of it, a few rough shelves, a small make-shift fire pit for a hearth with the roughest version of a chimney Jilly could imagine, a small black cauldron hug above the ashes from three metal poles.

Looking thoroughly ashamed, Remus asked, “Are you regretting your choice?”

Jilly gave him a kind smile, “No. I’ve always kind of wanted to get away from the world and just have a little cabin in the woods. A nice quiet place, where I can curl up and read a book, ignore the world, and just enjoy nature.” Remus’ jaw dropped. It wasn’t the answer he’d expected. He looked at her closer and realized it wasn’t disgust as she looked around, but disbelief on her face. “I love it. Did you build it yourself?”

“Most of it, yes. I found the water pump here. There must have been a house here long ago. I just kind of built around it. It took a while, but I don’t have to pay rent.” he paused, “You can have the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“The floor is dirt.”

“Yes,” Remus stared at the floor, “but I don’t have a couch.” his hand traced the scars on his neck. Jilly had come to realize it was his ‘tell’ when something was bothering him.

“No.” Jilly said firmly. Remus looked at her, confused. “You’re not going to sleep in the dirt in your own home.”

“And I won’t let a guest in my home sleep on the floor.” Remus challenged her.

“Then we’ll have to share the bed.” Jilly replied.

Remus’ eyes went wide, “Absolutely not.”

“What’s the harm? You’re gay, and I’m a girl. It’s not like you’re going to do anything to me, right?” Jilly reasoned.

“It’s not right. Dumbledore said to look after you, not bring you home and share a bed with you.” Remus ran his hands over his face rubbing his eyes. “This is so wrong on so many levels.”

“Are there rules against it? I mean, two friends, platonically sharing a bed?” he wasn’t sure if she was asking a legitimate question or if she was being sassy.

“I’ve broken so many laws already…"

Jilly stared at him, “What do you mean?”

Remus sighed, “You saw me that first night. I kidnapped you, transported you across country jurisdictions, used an illegal portkey, and broke the International Statute of Secrecy. Muggles aren’t meant to know about wizards.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” Jilly smiled. Remus didn’t.  _ OK, humor isn’t helping. _ “There’s only one bed, and one blanket. It doesn’t make sense for one of us to sleep on the floor. It makes sense to share the bed and the blanket. Forget social stigmas and look at the facts.”

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Remus repeated.

“Then I’ll sleep on the floor too.” Jilly glared at Remus, daring him silently to test her resolve. She could be quite bullheaded when she set her mind on something.

That night they slept awkwardly, back to back, on the bed sharing the blanket; both fully clothed.


	17. Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jilly shows her appreciation for Remus sharing his accommodations.

Jilly woke up, snuggled in the blanket, curled up on the bed. She rolled over, opening one eye to see Remus sitting at the small table with a steaming cup of tea.

“Good morning beautiful.” Remus winked at her.

Jilly scrunched her nose up, desperately replaying the previous night for a clue to his odd behavior.

“You snore.” he answered her confused look.

“I do not!” Jilly tried to be indignant, but she’d woken herself up in the past and knew it was true. Her face burned with embarrassment.

Remus smiled. “You’re fine. Sirius snored too.” Somehow that didn’t make her feel any better. “Would you like some tea? I’ll even let you use my other mug.” he teased.

Jilly sat up, pulling the shabby quilt off her legs, “I have to pee, but I’d be up for a cup of tea when I get back.” She scooted to the edge of the bed and her bare feet met the cold dirt floor.

“Wear your shoes.” Remus sipped his tea. “It’s a little wet out this morning.”

Jilly looked up at the hole in the roof. The sky was grey and cloudy. She slipped her shoes on and went out the door.

“It’s raining… and yet the roof isn’t leaking.” Jilly said when she came back in.

“The fog brings a mist sometimes. If it were raining properly you’d hear it on the roof. And how would I keep a clean home with a dirt floor if the roof leaked?” Remus looked at her over the mug he held in both hands. Jilly pointed at the hole in the roof near the bed where the clouds were visible. Remus pointed at himself, “Magic.” Jilly smiled and shook her head. “Wash your hands.” Remus indicated toward the water spigot with a nod. “Soap is on the shelf.”

“Plumbing. I will miss plumbing.” Jilly lamented. “How do you take a shower?”

Remus had a moment of anxiety. “In the warm months there’s a stream out back past the loo. It’s usually clean and warm. In the winter I just fill the bucket and wash up indoors.” We’ll just have to take turns washing.” He offered her the cup of tea he’d brewed while she was out.

“Thank you.” Jilly took the tea, looked at the table, and walked back over to the bed, setting the tea on the side table and sitting on the edge of the bed.

Remus stood up, “You can sit at the table. I’m done with my tea anyway.” Inwardly he chastised himself for not anticipating the problem and vacating the chair sooner. “I’m going to walk back to town and get some groceries. Do you have food preferences?”

Jilly took a moment to stare at the cauldron and the make-shift fireplace. “That works like a stew pot, right?”

Remus wrinkled his brow, “It can, yes.”

“If you bring some carrots and potatoes, a nice sized onion, some spices, and maybe a hunk of some kind of meat, I should be able to whip up something for dinner.” Jilly smiled, “My thanks for letting me share your little paradise.”

_Paradise? Who in their right mind would think my little ramshackle home is a paradise?_ It did give him a bit of a confidence boost to know his workmanship impressed her though.

When Remus returned from the long walk back to town with a satchel of groceries and necessities, he found smoke coming from the chimney of the cottage. As he stepped in he found Jilly with her back to the door stacking split logs near the wood stove. The cauldron had been scrubbed out, half filled with water and replaced in the hearth. She’d cleaned out the ashes and started a fire with a few logs and branches to start the water heating. The bed was made, the entire house had been dusted, she’d even swept the hard dirt floor. The cups were washed and set back on the shelf. “Been busy while I was away. It looks good. Thank you.” Jilly jumped with a yelp having not seen him come in, toppling the last couple of logs in the little stack. “Oh, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Remus knelt down to help her put the logs back in a neat pile.

“I put the logs over here by the heater so they couldn’t accidentally catch fire if they were too close to the cooking fire.” Jilly explained, looking up at Remus. He looked at her and couldn’t contain his grin. Suddenly self-conscious, Jilly sat back with a hurt and puzzled look.

“You have ash and dirt all over you. What kind of adventures were you on? I was only gone for a while.” Jilly started scrubbing at her face with her hands, but it only made the dirt and ash smudge further across her face. Remus reached into his bag and pulled out a bundle of carrots, a handful of potatoes, one onion, some tea bags, a clove of garlic, a couple cans of vegetables, a container of milk, a small bag of sugar, and a carton of eggs, setting them all on the table. He reached back into the bag and pulled out a towel. “It’s a good thing I picked this up. I can dry off with a spell, but I figured you’d prefer not to drip dry. Grab some spare clothes and go bathe in the stream. I’ll wash your dirty clothes when you get back.”

Jilly smiled and took the towel from him, “You’re a lifesaver, Remus.”


	18. Jilly Solves A Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus explains lycanthropy and Jilly solves his problem.

The next day Remus cooked up some eggs for their breakfast and announced, “I’m going to head out today to try to find some work.” He leaned against the kitchen shelves, holding his plate so Jilly could sit at the table.

“What kind of work do you do?” Jilly asked between bites.

“Whatever I can find to do. Sweep floors, clean gutters, mow lawns, minor repairs, tutoring, temp jobs. Last Christmas time a kind elderly lady gave me three pounds and dinner for hanging her lights up. It’s hard to keep a job for very long; when you have to call in sick several days a month, people start to put it all together. Nobody wants to hire someone like me.” Remus put his last bite of eggs in his mouth and rinsed the plate off in the bucket under the water pump.

Jilly looked at him curiously, “Why not? You seem like an intelligent hard working man.”

“They think I’m dangerous. They’re not wrong.” he replied as he finished cleaning the plate and fork and set them on the shelf.

“Well, you are a law-breaker.” Jilly teased.

“I’m a werewolf, Jilly. Merlin, I don’t know what Dumbledore was thinking sending you here with me. It’s not safe.” Remus realized it was the first time he’d admitted his condition to her. She knew, of course, she had to, but he’d never actually said it out loud. His face flushed with embarrassment. 

Jilly hesitated for a moment, both at his sudden admission, and the absolute backwardness of the idea of being afraid of a werewolf. “You only change during the full moon, right?”

“Yes, but I’m usually in poor health a few days before and after too. It’s exhausting, and I tend to - injure myself. It leaves me too weak to safely apparate to get to a job, even if I was feeling up to it.”

“But you lock yourself away on full moon nights?” Jilly continued.

“Yes, I have to. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to spread it. I couldn’t live with myself…” Remus trailed off.

“And how is it spread?” Jilly knew she’d be on thin ice with this question, but she needed to know. “I mean, can I get it from sharing food with you? Could your … boyfriend… get it from… that?” Jilly blushed. “Or is it like in the stories, where you have to bite someone?”

Remus felt awkward explaining to Jilly what every wizard child learned in school. “Lycanthropy is spread through the bite of a transformed werewolf on full moon nights. It’s not ‘catchy’ in any other way.”

“Then how are you dangerous?” Jilly stood up to wash her plate and fork off in the bucket. “If you take precautions to keep yourself locked away from people, and you’re only in wolf-form one night out of, what every 30 days? As long as you’re not running around biting people during the full moon, you’re not dangerous.”

“But I am. I could hurt people. I could kill people. I don’t have any control when I’m … like that. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.” Jilly recognized the flash of panic in his eyes at the thought alone of hurting someone.

“But you lock yourself somewhere safe, right?” Jilly tried to bring him back to reality.

“I do, but now I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to. I usually lock myself in the cottage here, but with _you_ here…” Remus stopped short and glanced down at her as she was finishing rinsing the plate, “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

“No, nothing to apologize for. I understand now why you were upset about me staying here. It’s fine. No hurt feelings.” She flashed a fake smile as she stood and set the clean plate and fork on the shelf beside his. Remus could see that he’d said too much and it had hurt her, even if she denied it. “You go on and find some work. I can keep myself busy.”

Remus felt like a complete prat, even if it had been true. He had just under two weeks before the next full moon and he had to figure out where he could safely lock himself away. “I’ll be back this evening, unless I find work that keeps me away longer.”

Jilly gave a non committal, “mm-hmm” and a nod and waved her hand at him as if to shoo him away, not bothering to even look at him. Remus disappeared with a crack.

Remus apparated back into the cottage in the evening just as it was getting dark. He hadn’t been able to find any work. He was exhausted and disheartened. Looking around he realized that Jilly wasn’t there. Her suitcase was still under the foot of the bed, but the cooking fire hadn’t been lit and none of the candles were burning. Just as Remus went to the door to look for Jilly outside, the door opened and Jilly stepped in, out of breath and with a smile on her face. She held a small bundle under her arm.

“Oh good, you’re home!” Jilly exclaimed. “I’ve solved your werewolf problem.” Jilly danced past him, pulled out her suitcase and put her bundle in before clicking it shut and sliding it back under the bed with her foot.

“Oh? And how might that be?” Remus was genuinely curious.

“I went to the village today. You know there’s a little hotel on the far side. It looks pretty new. I put in an application and got an interview on the spot. Turns out they just lost their night shift cleaning lady. I go back tomorrow night to start training in. You can have the house all to yourself, and I will be safely on the other side of town.” Jilly positively beamed.

Remus was impressed. He should have known Jilly wouldn’t be the type to play house-sitter. Moreover though, he was relieved that she didn’t seem upset with his earlier outburst. “Thank you... For being proactive, and for taking this seriously. Congratulations on your employment. I’m sure you’ll make a fine cleaning lady.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jilly's bundle is her new work uniform.


	19. Poor Misunderstood Lonely Gay Werewolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jilly snores and Remus prepares for another full moon.

Jilly’s snoring could wake a hibernating bear. Remus tried putting the pillow over his head, but her snoring was merely muffled. He tried gently elbowing her, which would stop her snoring for a minute or two before she started up again. He briefly considered putting the pillow over Jilly’s head, but then he remembered a trick. When Sirius would snore, he’d prop him up on his side and it seemed to help.

Remus sat up in bed and gently pushed Jilly’s shoulder to get her to roll over on her side. As he rolled back over away from her, she rolled back onto her back and continued to snore. He sat up again, pushing her over until she was on her side again, and then carefully curled up behind her. He rested his arm over her side, using his own body as a block so she wouldn’t be able to roll back over onto her back. She stopped snoring, her breathing was slow and steady. He fell asleep nuzzled up with her.

Jilly awoke the next morning to find Remus pressed up behind her, his arm over her. She smiled at the thought of this poor misunderstood lonely gay werewolf finding some strange comfort with an unexpected houseguest. Not wanting to wake him, she stayed in bed. She put her hand over his, twining her fingers in his and listened to his breathing.

Several minutes later, Remus woke up. Instantly mortified, he pulled his arm away and sat up in bed, putting as much space as he could between them. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. Maybe she hadn’t noticed.

“Good morning beautiful” Jilly repeated his greeting from the other day rolling over to face him with a smile.

Remus froze for a moment before attempting to explain himself, “You were snoring, and I couldn’t sleep. Sometimes sleeping on his side helped Sirius not to snore. I was just…”

“It’s OK.” Jilly interrupted him, “I kind of liked it.” She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and and hopped off, “Dibs on the outhouse!”

With Jilly working the night shift, Remus was free to sleep at night without Jilly’s snoring keeping him up, and Jilly slept from morning until early evening when Remus was out looking for work. They’d enjoy breakfast together before Remus left and Jilly slept, and an evening meal together before Jilly would walk to work and Remus would head to bed. Remus brought a thick cut log in to work as a second seat so they could share the table for meals.

The days leading up to the full moon Remus was too sick to look for work. He was pale and feverish, his body ached, he had the chills, and he stopped eating, surviving off a cup of tea for breakfast and supper. Jilly worried about him, but he assured her this was normal and he’d be fine once the full moon was over.

The evening of the full moon, Remus was sicker than Jilly had ever seen him. His eyes sunk in, he looked thinner than usual, he was sweating and shivering at the same time, and he had wrapped himself in the quilt before sitting down to read a book.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” Jilly asked again as she stuffed her uniform into the little backpack Remus had brought home for her.

Remus looked up from his book, “Don’t come back in until the sun is up. Even if you manage to get off work early. Once the sun is up, I’ll be fine. Tired and sore, and still moon sick, but I’ll be alright. It’s nothing new.”

Jilly looked at him with concern, “I know it’s not a pleasant night for you. I’m sorry I can’t do anything to make it easier for you.”

“You have though. You made arrangements to keep yourself away, and that puts me at ease. At least I know you’ll be safe.” Remus gave her a weak smile, “I’ll be sure to remove the protection spells when I … before I fall asleep after…” Remus couldn’t concentrate on his words through the splitting headache anymore. Closing the book he rubbed his eyes. “Have a good night at work. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Safe transitioning Remus.” Jilly said as she slipped out the door. It seemed more appropriate than ‘good night’ given the circumstances. Remus locked the door behind her.


	20. Take Your Shirt Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jilly helps to mend Remus after the full moon.

When Jilly returned the next morning the sun was cresting the horizon. She stood at the door to the cottage for several moments, unsure of what she’d find, but trying to prepare herself mentally. She gripped the doorknob and turned. It opened, unlocked. She stepped in and let her eyes adjust to the darkness inside. Remus was already curled up in bed, fast asleep. She could hear his ragged breaths.

Usually Remus would make breakfast, but Jilly didn’t want to wake him, so she carefully started a fire in the wood stove, took the cast iron pan off the nail in the kitchen wall, and set it on the flat top of the stove. She went to grab the eggs and hesitated. Make him breakfast and wake him up? Or let him sleep? Maybe something in the middle. She made three eggs, so if he wasn’t hungry she’d be able to eat the extra without being wasteful, but if he was hungry, she could always make more while he was eating.

She didn’t have to wake Remus. The smell of the eggs was enough to rouse him from bed. He opened his groggy eyes and sat up. Jilly put all three eggs on one plate and brought it to him in bed so he wouldn’t have to take the couple steps to the table. “Are we sharing a plate now?” he asked.

“No, I can make more for myself. I wasn’t sure if you’d be up for breakfast.” Jilly smiled, but her smile faded when she noticed the swatches of red staining his shirt. “Remus, are you bleeding?”

He looked down and sighed. “An unfortunate side effect of the full moon and being locked up. I tend to tear myself up.”

Jilly remembered the scratches across his neck the first morning she’d met him. “Let me get a cloth and some water.” She quickly grabbed a clean dish rag from the shelf and pumped some water into the kitchen bucket.

“You don’t need to…” Remus started, but he’d seen that look in her eyes before. She wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Take your shirt off.” Jilly stopped in front of Remus with a cloth in one hand and a bucket in the other. They exchanged a look, and she pursed her lips before calmly repeating, “Take your shirt off,  _ please _ .”

Remus hesitated. He didn’t like showing his scars, and especially not the bite mark on his side. Self-conscious didn’t even begin to cover how he felt about the marks across his body. Sensing his apprehension, Jilly softened a bit, “It’s not like I haven’t seen it all before.” They both stopped and blushed, looking away from one another. Jilly hadn’t ever admitted to having seen more of him than she’d intended on that first morning, and her admission confirmed his original suspicion. There was an embarrassed silence between them.

Jilly swallowed the lump in her throat and bit her lip. Taking a deep breath she raised her eyes to Remus’ again. “If you don’t let me clean you up, then you’ll have to do it yourself. You’re going to stain the bed sheets.” She held out the bucket and cloth.

Remus considered the bucket and cloth she was offering, fighting with himself in his mind. He set the plate on the bed beside him and carefully pulled his shirt off. He sat still as Jilly carefully dabbed at the gouges across his shoulders and over his chest. He'd already used healing spells, but werewolf injuries were cursed wounds and sometimes the deeper ones still bled and were slow to heal. Neither one spoke, though Remus did occasionally wince. He did his best to hide his discomfort. Once she’d gotten him cleaned up, she reached into her bag and pulled out some bandages. She’d bought them on her way to work the night before figuring she might need them. She did her best to cover his wounds so they wouldn’t bleed through his shirt again. When she was done she reached under the side table and got him a clean shirt. As he put it on she stepped outside to dump the bucket out, coming back in to wash her hands before making herself a couple eggs for breakfast. He finished his eggs and fell asleep before he thought to wash his plate and fork.

Jilly finished her breakfast, took the dishes from the bed, and washed them before climbing into the bed herself. Remus was asleep facing away from her, so she curled up behind him, putting her arm over his side as he had when her snoring had left him unable to sleep. Remus woke up as she climbed into bed, but he stayed still, letting her get comfortable. When her arm came over his side, he smiled before falling back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this on the tenth of March, 2020... Remus Lupin's 60th birthday. Happy birthday Moony!


	21. Magic Indeed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jilly finds Muggle reading material and Remus promises a trip to the thrift shop. Jilly witnesses wandless magic for the first time.

It was early in the evening when Remus woke up again. Jilly was sitting at the table, reading a book. As Remus sat up in bed and stretched, rubbing his sore shoulders gently, Jilly looked up. “Are you hungry? I can make something. It’s not quite dinner time, but we can eat early if you want.”

Remus yawned, rolling his head to either side attempting to stretch his neck muscles. “Yeah, I suppose I could eat something.” He stood up and walked over to the table, taking the log seat across from her. “What are you reading?”

“Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet. I’ve read it before, but I found it on your bookshelf and figured I’d read it again.” Jilly ran her fingers over the page briskly before slipping a piece of paper in as a bookmark and closing the book. “Most of your other books are about magic and potions and stuff. I was a little surprised to find Shakespeare among your collection.” Jilly stood up and walked toward the kitchen to start preparing food.

Remus gave a slight smile as he stared at the book on the table. “My mother read it to me when I was little. It was one of her favorites.”

Jilly smiled at the thought of a young Remus getting Shakespearian bedtime stories. Then she recalled some writing inside the front cover. “Was your mother’s name Hope?”

Remus looked up at her, confused for a moment. “Yes.” Then he remembered the note. He opened the front cover and there in messy handwriting, his father had written:

To Hope, With All My Love, Lyall

“She had good taste in reading materials. It’s my favorite Shakespeare story too.” Jilly continued cutting up carrots and potatoes.

“I think she’d have liked you.” Remus said quietly.

“Is that so?” Jilly put the cut vegetables into the cauldron, “And why is that?”

Remus seemed lost in thought for a moment, “She was a muggle too.”

Jilly turned to Remus, the log she’d been placing under the cauldron still in her hand, “I thought you said muggles weren’t supposed to know about wizards. I mean, obviously she had to know about magic and stuff if you were changing when you were little.”

“My father is a wizard, so he kind of had to let her in on it. There’s an exemption for marriage between muggles and wizards or witches.” Remus explained.

“Well, it looks like you’re going to have to marry me then.” she joked. Remus didn’t respond. Jilly finished building up the small logs and twigs for the fire and reached for the box of matches she’d kept on the kitchen shelf. Empty. “Crap! I forgot to pick up more matches last night. I was so busy grabbing bandages it completely slipped my mind.”

“You’ve been starting the fire with… of course you have. You could just ask.” Remus flicked his hand out toward the small pile of kindling, and it erupted into a steady flame. Jilly cast him an exasperated look and sighed. Remus smiled, “Magic.” he pointed to himself.

“Magic indeed.” Jilly put the empty match box in her bag to remind herself to buy more. “You didn’t even use your wand for that!”

“I don’t need my wand for simple spells. Opening doors, unlatching locks, starting small fires, picking things up, finding misplaced items.” Remus grinned at the look on Jilly’s face.

“Then I’m certainly not going to ask for help for such  _ trivial _ things. I wouldn’t want to waste your time.” The sarcasm practically dripped from her words.

Remus checked his pocket watch, “Aren’t you going to be late for work?”

“It’s my day off. You know, they  _ do _ let me stay home sometimes. I asked for today off in case you needed me around the house.” Jilly paused, “Or is that your hint that you want me to leave?” a sly smile spread across her face.

“Why Jilly… I can’t tell… Are you… Flirting with me?” Remus teased. Jilly’s face went unexpectedly red and she quickly turned back to the simmering soup, stirring it up more than it needed to be. He’d only been joking, but now he felt as though perhaps he’d been more insensitive than he’d intended. He changed the subject. “So, how’s work going? You get along well with your work mates?”

“It’s fine.” Jilly wouldn’t turn back around.

Remus ran his tongue over the inside of his bottom lip, determined to put her in a better mood. “When is your next day off? Maybe when I’m feeling better and you have some time, we could find a thrift shop. You could redecorate, make the cottage feel more like your home too? I know it kind of screams bachelor.” Remus watched her for any kind of response as she continued stirring. “Maybe find some clothes you like, instead of wearing the school left overs.”

She stopped stirring. “Pajamas. I’d like pajamas. Sleeping in our clothes is uncomfortable, and it doesn’t help to keep the sheets clean.”

Remus smiled, “Yes, we can both look for pajamas.”

“Next Thursday. Save the date, but don’t call it a date.” She turned and gave him a shy smile but wouldn’t meet his eyes.


	22. Thrift Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus takes Jilly to a thrift shop and a library. Jilly finds a giraffe mug.

Thursday came, Remus was feeling much better, and Jilly was excited to check out the thrift shop. It felt like it had been ages since she’d visited the little thrift shop back home. Home. What a foreign concept now. The house back in America felt like it had been a lifetime ago, something from a story she’d read. It felt like the little mud cottage was home now. Jilly was absolutely frazzled at the thought of being sent back when Remus grew tired of her. She’d made every effort to cook and clean and be as helpful as possible. She knew she was at a distinct disadvantage not being able to use magic to get things done faster and with less effort, so she worked hard to bring home enough to keep them both fed. She dreaded the day that she might become more of a burden than a help. She didn’t want to be sent away.

Remus apparated them to a city that Jilly didn’t recognize. No surprise there, she wasn’t familiar with anything on this side of the world. She knew it wasn’t the town they lived near, this one was much larger and busier. The people walking by spoke with some sort of English accent, and Jilly was rather enjoying listening to the snippets of conversation as they walked past couples and small groups of people. Remus brought her to a little shop in the middle of the block. Once you’ve been in one thrift shop, you’ll find that most are very similar. This one was well lit and the clothing was organized by gender, season, and size. Jilly smiled, unable to contain her excitement. Was it weird to be so excited to shop for second-hand stuff? Maybe, but Jilly didn’t care. She loved it.

Remus kept a wary eye on her as he looked for some new clothing for himself. At one point Jilly disappeared completely, and Remus had a bit of a fright when he couldn’t find her in any of the clothing isles. She came up to him from a side aisle with a giraffe coffee mug. The mug was the body of the giraffe, and the neck bent down and around making the handle. Jilly grinned, showing it off like a child showing off their school art project. “It’s so cute!” Jilly exclaimed.

Remus thought perhaps her enthusiasm for a good find was the cuter part, but he didn’t say anything to that effect. Instead he settled for “It is pretty cute. You should get it.”

Remus had never spent more time in a thrift store than he did that day with Jilly. She insisted on checking every aisle, looking through every clothing rack, and looking through the toy and book sections with great interest. They ended up buying a puzzle, the giraffe mug, a cookbook, an odd assortment of forks and spoons with interesting handle decorations, a couple old Delft bowls with pretty blue designs, and of course several selections of clothing items.

“I’ve never seen anyone take that much time to go through everything in the shop before.” Remus muttered as he handed her the bag.

“You should see me in a bookstore!” Jilly smiled so wide that her cheeks made her eyes squint. Remus suddenly had the overwhelming urge to bring her to the local book shop, but instead led her to a nearby alley so they could apparate again.

*Crack* They were suddenly in another alleyway just outside of a public library. Jilly grinned and did an excited happy dance. “The library! You brought me to the library! Oh! Can we borrow a couple books?”

Remus hesitated, “Since I don’t have an official address, or any muggle paperwork, I can’t get a library card. But we can come here on your days off and you can read to your heart’s content. I used to come here all the time when I lived here.” He held the door open for her, “My parents came here for quiet dates sometimes when I was old enough to look after myself for a bit.”


	23. Jilly, Dancing In The Sunlight, Arms Outstretched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus struggles with newfound feelings

It was early August and the weather in Yorkshire was nearing its warmest point. Remus decided it would be best to cook over a fire in the yard rather than making the house warmer by lighting the cooking fire indoors. As he started to prepare the meal in the kitchen, Jilly took leave to go bathe in the stream.

Remus left the house, his hands full carrying the foil packets with their evening meal, a spare plate, tongs, and the kitchen bucket full of water (always a safety issue when dealing with fire). He had to set the bucket down for a moment to have a free hand to close the door behind him. As he came around the side of the cottage he saw Jilly, dancing barefoot in the yard, and stopped in his tracks.

She was wearing the pretty blue dress she’d picked out at the thrift shop, her wet hair spinning out away from her as she twirled on her tiptoes through the grass. She was singing a song she’d probably heard on the radio while she was at work, her arms outstretched in the sunlight. Suddenly Remus felt a longing he’d not felt in many years.

_ What is wrong with you Remus? Pull yourself together. She’s not even your type. She’s a girl… you like blokes. You must be getting desperate. _ Remus fought with himself. He’d never been attracted to women before. Though honestly, aside from Sirius, he’d never been attracted to anyone. Sure, he’d dated a few girls in school, but it never got any more serious than a little snogging, and that never did a thing for him; not with a girl anyway. There was something about Jilly though. She wasn’t outwardly gorgeous. She’d never catch the eye of most people, but the more he got to know her, and the more he caught these little glimpses into her inner personality, the more he realized just how beautiful a person she truly was.

Jilly caught him staring at her. She stopped dancing and smiled as she crossed the yard to him. He closed his mouth and looked away, suddenly embarrassed. “Need help carrying stuff?” Jilly took the plate with the foil packets and tongs, leaving him with the water bucket.

“Thanks.” Remus breathed.

Jilly trotted back to the little pit Remus had lined with stones. She’d already built up some kindling to start a fire.

As the fire burned down, with full bellies, Jilly leaned against Remus’ shoulder as they sat on a log near the fire pit. He was telling her about how Sirius, James, and Peter had become illegal animagi to safely keep him company during his monthly transformations. She loved his stories, and was doing her best to keep her eyes open, but it was getting late and it was her night off, which always threw her sleep schedule off. She kept blinking longer and longer, missing parts of his story, until her head slipped off his shoulder and she jerked herself awake in mid fall, arms flailing out. Remus stopped and looked at her with a smile. “You could just tell me I’m rambling. No need to fall asleep on me” he teased.

“I’m sorry Ream. I’m so tired.” Jilly mumbled. Remus stopped. Ream. She’d called him Ream. It was a nickname Sirius had called him, but only when they were alone. Jilly was too tired to realize that she’d not used his full first name, nor that he’d stopped and stared at her for a moment.

Remus stood up and reached down to pull her up by her hands. “Let’s get you tucked in to bed then.” He turned to pour the water over the smoldering coals, “You go get into your PJs, and I’ll be in as soon as I cover the embers with dirt to make sure the fire’s out.”

By the time Remus had the fire put out to his satisfaction, Jilly was fast asleep and snoring. He finished cleaning up the dishes before changing into an old shirt and a pair of pj shorts. He lifted the thin sheet to climb into bed, but as he sat down his eyes were drawn to Jilly’s bare legs. His gaze shifting up her legs to see the purple hearts on her panties. “Merlin, Jilly, you’re not wearing any shorts!” he practically fell off the bed in his rush to stand up.

“It’s too hot for extra layers. Come to bed Remus.” Jilly muttered half asleep.

Remus considered his options, but she was right, it was hot. If he slept on the floor he’d end up filthy from sweat and dirt mixing. He ran his hand over the back of his neck, his fingers tracing the raised scars. He sat back on the edge of the bed carefully tucking the sheet in under Jilly, who was again snoring, before laying down on top of the sheet with his back to her.


End file.
